Do you sit and perseverate about the same subject over and over in your mind, head spinning like a top? Is it common for you to repeat past behaviors, and unproductive thoughts? Although whatever stimulus has ended, you are practically addicted to repeat or prolong an action, thought, or utterance.
Obsessions and addictions show up in many different forms.
Whether it is alcohol, drugs, food, gambling, women, men, etc., they all are like a constant broken record that you play over and over in your head. For some recovered addicts, the desire for another drink, cigarette, girl, guy. might never leave, even though you have stayed away from your vices for years.
My one word of advice: If you’ve never gone down these paths, DON’T!
THEN YOU NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT QUITTING.
Although, this is Easier said than done.
However, since you’re reading this, chances are you are knee deep down the tunnel.
Let’s dissect this further and see if you can make heads or tails out of what’s going on with you.
First of all:
When did all of this start?
Who were you with?
What did it serve you back when you first started?
What were you looking for?
How were you feeling?
What were you hoping for?
When did you notice you were hooked?
What does it give you now?
Do you want to be a victim of your situation or do you want to change?
What will it take to do that?
Ok, so I’ve thrown a lot of questions out without any answers and you might say, “Hey, if I knew the answers I wouldn’t be in the situation I am now or reading your article. Just tell me what to do.”
The problem is I can’t spoon-feed this to you but trust me I would if I could.
If you skimmed all of those questions, do yourself a favor and go back and take some time answering each one and write them out until you’re done.
If you really want to change it takes dedication and commitment, and this is the first step to clearing out old debris.
All the books, tapes, and lectures will NOT help you unless you actively do the work.
Chances are your answers were a place of self loathing, feeling inadequate, not good enough and wanting to fit in.
Once you see that, you see what this addiction has been trying to protect you from.
The next step is asking “Am I ready to let this go”?
If you’re not, STOP READING! It’s ok. Maybe you never really want to change, but are content being a victim and blaming people all of your life which gives your ego some satisfaction of being right. It’s the booby prize but so be it for now. But, your addiction will never give you peace and joy. You obviously haven’t hit rock bottom yet, so wait until you’re ready to make a change once and for all.
When you are ready continue here.
Ask what you really want and write that clearly out with ways to keep you on track when you want to fall back to your old ways.
Make a time line and follow it, “I will do this for one day or one week”, and keep remaking them.
Get a support network.
Hire a life coach, a therapist, get a buddy, join a group, and have an outlet of other things that fill you, so you can draw on when you feel yourself sliding back.
In a nutshell, this addiction has taken over because it has it’s own mind MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY AND YOU HAVE ALLOWED THIS TO GET TO THIS POINT. BLAME EVERYONE AROUND YOU ALL YOU WANT BUT THE BOTTOM LINE IS, YOU ALLOWED THIS TO GET TO THIS POINT and It IS UP TO YOU TO MAKE THE CHANGE. NO ONE ELSE CAN DO IT FOR YOU.
We could go back into your history. Many times it’s important to see how you got to this point in the first place, but only to heal these parts of yourself so you can move forward. Like a gardener removing weeds from their garden, continue to clear it out, until it’s gone.
Addiction protects us from feeling painful, unwanted emotions. Running away from confronting these sentiments, keeps us from sitting long enough with ourselves to heal. We allow ourselves to live in a vicious circle until we get tired from this crazy making. This adrenaline rush of extreme high and excitement drives us to these places of euphoria, so we don’t have to feel dreaded moods of despair and anxiety. The very thing we don’t want to feel, keeps us in constant flux and instability because we can’t come face to face with ourselves.
Start cultivating your own interests and find what they are. Discover what gives meaning to your life and how do you ground yourself to get there? What activities, people, places and things give your life substance and joy?
What is your bliss without the addiction?
Is it hiking, playing tennis, meditation, yoga, surfing, golfing, dancing, golfing, going to the movies, Bingo, bridge? Whatever it is make it part of your daily routine.
Breathe, trust the process and seek others that are committed to growth and change as well.
There is another way!
Are you ready?
If so, how have you showed up different this week?
Let me know.
This is free life coaching:-)