If it’s not one thing…. It’s your Mother

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If it’s not one thing it’s your Mother

Mothers Day can conjure up the sweetest memories as the poem my Father recites every Mother’s Day.

To one who bears the sweetest name
and adds luster to the same.
Who shares my joys when ever sad,
the greatest friend I ever had.
Long life to her, for theirs no other,
that could take the place of my dear Mother

Other times it feels like another demand requiring something from us in this commercialized world we live in. Every month except August has a holiday and then throw that into the mix of birthdays and the new found holidays of Siblings day, Grandparents Day, Staff appreciation Day, music day, etc (google the obscure holidays~ it’s pretty comical), it can feel overwhelming. If you are someone that LOVES holidays and worship, knock yourself out but if you are someone that requires more solitude and time, all of these occasions can feel like an assault on your personal space.

The relationship you have with your Mom makes a difference in how you want to honor her or not as well. Let yourself know the truth about how you do feel about your mom so you can honor her in a way that is honest and real.
Sometimes Mom’s have such a hold on us that we feel we might be swallowed alive by them with their powerful demands.
If she was demanding and obtrusive we might resent and loathe the day and feel guilty or resentful or both.

Find a way that works for you to honor the relationship you do have, making it work for you too.
No amount of gift giving or doing can make up for the guilt you might have and it is felt in the long run by her and goes underground in you creating a vortex for eruption later.

One thing I have heard over and over again is that when a mother or father dies they still live on in your heart and mind no matter what your relationship is, they are always a part of you. You came from their loins and gave you life which is the most miraculous gift one could receive.
A friend gave me this poem which I read at Mother’s Day.
http://www.gratefulness.org/poetry/lanyardcollins.htm

None of us had a blue print on parenting no matter how many books we read. It was paint by the number and sometimes we stayed in the line and sometimes we went outside the box. Remembering that takes the onus on having or being the perfect mother.

Perhaps we can’t really appreciate our Mother’s until we have children of our own. I remember my mom’s words well when she said “Wait until you have children of your own”! Ah… sweet revenge.
Yesterday when my son was helping dry the dishes he had the dish towel swirling and whipping it at me, I remembered my Mom running around the table with a coat hanger to swat me when I was 13 no doubt giving her lip. We finally broke into laughter because she couldn’t catch me which defused the whole thing.

Thanks to my Mothers, my sister Jan, my 4 children (Yes, I love you all the same just different~ even if you don’t believe me! You all just switch “hot spots” from time to time:-). I am so blessed and you are the best part of my life.

Perhaps Erma Bombeck said it best in her writing by keeping it real with laughter. Thank you Erma from all of us that honored you.
She died in 1996.

If it’s not one thing it’s your Mother and in one month it will be your Father:
June 21rst to be exact. 😊

Love and Laughter,

Cindy

Erma Bombeck Quotes On Motherhood:

* I loved you enough to ask about where you were going, with whom and what time you would get home
* I loved you enough to insist that you buy a bike, that we could afford to give you, with your own money
* I loved you enough to make you return a Milky-Way— with a bite out of it—to the drug store and to confess “I stole this
* I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that would have taken me 15 minutes
* I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, disgust and tears in my eyes
* I loved you enough to admit I was wrong and ask for your forgiveness
* I loved you enough to let you stumble, fall and hurt
* But most of all, I loved you enough to say NO when you hated me for it. That was the hardest part of all
* All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with white carpet is one of them
* Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. “Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed?” Don’t you want to save some of the pizza for your brother?” Wasn’t there any change?
* Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen? Three. It takes one to say, “What light?” and two more to say, “I didn’t turn it on.
* I remember buying a set of black plastic dishes once, after I saw an ad on television where they actually put a blowtorch to them and they emerged unscathed. Exactly one week after I bought them, one of the kids brought a dinner plate to me with a large crack in it. When I asked what happened to it, he said it hit a tree. I don’t want to talk about it
* Kids have little computer bodies with disks that store information. They remember who had to do the dishes the last time you had spaghetti, who lost the knob off the Tv set six years ago, who got punished for teasing the dog when he wasn’t teasing the dog and who had to wear girls boots the last time it snowed
* Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown
Sources: http://www.sevensidedcube.net/general/2010/mothers-day-2010-special-erma-bombeck-quotes-on-motherhood/

The Precious Gift of Social Media

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The Precious Gift in Social Media

My struggle with social media continues as I wade through posts, making mine, trying to figure out why I’m on Face Book in the first place and what I want to say. I’ve avoided it for this long and swore I would never get on and now in an instant I’m on Instagram and Linked In as well. I missed the window my friends talked about of spying on their kids or seeing what they were up to. 3 of my 4 kids won’t even accept me as a friend now and barely do F.B. anymore since all of us oldies are on it. Go figure. So I can only imagine way back then, they would definitely not want me knowing anything they were up to.
They have moved on to Twitter, Snap Chat and Instagram to get away from us no doubt.

My writing has been my driving force of deciding to sign up, but I’m not certain this is the right forum for that. That and my staffs request of getting on board in the new century. Apparently, I can’t just sign up as a business page anymore without a personal page. Besides, I’m told people want to know what I’m up to before they look at my business page or it looks too promoting.

Well, the truth is I want my business page to be promoting. Isn’t that why you would have a business page in the first place? This all seems a little cat and mouse to me and I’m perplexed and confused by this whole thing which seems like a game where I can’t figure out the rules. And being liked is more important than being who you are, even if someone doesn’t know you but are” your friends.”  Hmmm……. 

In trying to understand the concept more, I asked my son what he thought I should do and how to get my head around this.

He said “Mom, I don’t know what to tell you, it’s the world I grew up in and I don’t like it. But Mom, it’s the way it is”.

Further more, he said, “if you want to know something Google it, you don’t ask people about this stuff, it’s the way the world works now. You can be whoever you want to be. It doesn’t really matter. Say whatever you want to say and you will be portrayed as that even if it isn’t true. He continued to say, I have 2 fictitious accounts”.

Call me old fashion but I come from an era of being who I am matters and I spent a long time to find out who that is. I’m not keen and quick to pretend to be someone else. I rather like who I am. It has taken me a long time to like the person I am today. I’m not interested in being some identity I can turn myself into that I haven’t worked for, for better or worse.
We were a generation whose work ethics mattered, our word was our bond and what we did was an extension of who we were.
We talked about life, our values, we meant in person, talked on the phone, talked about philosophy, ate dinner together, hashed over different opinions.
Worked up the ladder.

In talking to head hunters the new generation wants instant gratification. Where we had one or 2 jobs in our lifetime, they will have 6-10 and furthermore they have to be able to shift gears with the ever changing demands the world is putting upon them. Those of us that don’t make adjustments and change get left behind. As the saying goes “The only constant in life is change.
If they don’t like the terms, they quit and reinvent themselves.
We are now a society that has been immersed in social media for better or worse and in a snap of a finger we can find out anything about any subject or scarily anyone. Leads in business are developed from here and if you don’t know how to navigate these systems, you will be left behind. We are stuck between a rock and a hard place and learning to sift through what is necessary and what isn’t is vital to our peace of mind.

In my struggle to figure this out, I sat in mediation asking the question how can I make peace with this? How do I move forward?
I can delete the whole bloody thing for that matter.

I picked my angel cards because at a time like this they’re as certain as anything else. LOL.

I closed my eyes and asked the question, how do I deal with this social media stuff and picked my card.

The quote Precious Gift was what I drew.

Friendship, family and love are precious gifts. Do not lose sight
of what is most important”.

And so they are.

As I continue to struggle through this process one thing became clear and that is social media does not replace family, friends or relationships and they are meant to be shared and talked to and seen face to face. Not an enigma of our imagination.

We celebrated my son’s 28th birthday last night with 11 of his friends around the table where they sat around the bonfire talking about their lives. The bond they have was so heartwarming to witness. He shared how grateful he was to have such special people in his life and thanked each of us for being an important part of his life and how much he appreciated the support he has gotten from each of us. This birthday dinner was his gift of thanks and giving back to those he loves and cares about. It was so touching we were moved to tears. We are all craving connection and to be understood and this was a testament of friendship that isn’t found on Face Book with 300 plus friends.

One thing became clear and that is my posts will be whatever is important to me and I find value in and will be the real deal for better or worse.

I promise to stay open to change while I hold fast to values that are tried and true and not sell out to what is popular at the moment.

To Precious Moments,

Cindy