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Unique Times

Where I share my jewels of wisdom of life

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Wisdom is optional, Aging is not. To be wise you must remain open minded, learn and grow especially as things become more challenging. Staying rigid in belief and thought are reflected in the body.
copyright Cindy Georgakas 2020

How do we continue to grow in wisdom as we age, especially now in the pandemic with our new normal in place? It makes one question the constructs you have put in place for yourself in life and if you have prepared yourself for the unexpected. Are you able to shift gears and live in what is verses what was, trying to get back to normal as you go about your day that you are not open to the moment?

We all deal with things differently and I for one hit the ground running when my terrain has been shaken or embers threaten my internal world. I train myself daily to be mindful and practice meditation, qigong, Tai Chi etc. I try to stay present so when difficult times happen in my life that require me to find calm and joy in chaos, I can access it. It’s not enough to sit, it is the everyday moments that teach us to put it into action, what we practice and therein lies the work which isn’t as easy as it seems. Practice what we preach as the old antage goes.

Photo by Sam Kolder on Pexels.com

Well guys, the fires have finally hit our home indirectly. There is smoke in the air with the threatening of lightning and heat so we are on alert but we are okay for now. I mentioned my 86 year old father and his girlfriend who is 90 were more at risk and they indeed had to evacuate their house the other night due to the fires since they are about 6 miles away. I don’t think they were threatened as much as they wanted the roads closed since it’s a windy 2 lane thoroughfare and the fire fighters need access to the areas behind them. If the winds do shift, embers could hit one of their at least 200 trees on the property and with a shake roof, it could quickly turn to no way out.

My Dad couldn’t reach me right away because I was in a session the other night when the fire department knocked on his door to evacuate them. When I called back he said he was was disappointed in me. I had talked to him earlier for about 45 minutes and everything seemed ok but I did say he could come here if something happened and temporarily moved in with us.

It cut to the core because I am always here for my family no matter what and for the life of me, I’m not sure what he was so disappointed about yet, but I have lived my whole life for his approval. I thought I healed that wound but here I am once again facing this feeling of sadness, anger and pain.

We picked him up and he is staying here until things are safe and clear to return. I get to practice being present with my feelings, his and forgive but right now it’s cordial and chilly which is good since it’s so blazing hot outside. He can’t see with macular degeneration and glaucoma and is bone on bone so is in pain a lot of the time. He had a stroke 2 years ago after elective heart valve replacement and I was there for him every step of the way. It’s really sad to see your robust father that was so strong and athletic decline. He needs help to accommodate his aging body which he refuses to acknowledge which is frustrating because he will be going blind and won’t make choices while he still can and I will be forced to make them for him. He lives up the hill 20 minutes from us and we need to work full time to make ends meet which makes response time a problem.

I continue to look for the lesson and silver lining while we acknowledge this internal struggle for all of us living under one roof with our 2 adult children as well who moved in after the pandemic. We have had to learn how to navigate and move into an adult relationship together changing our old structure of our adult child relationship which has been a gift but not without a lot of discussion and falling back into old patterns.

Photo by Sanketh Rao on Pexels.com

I am struck by other countries where living together is the norm and they are interdependent on each other. Some of the millenials actually want to move but don’t want to upset their parents. When we were in Bali, we were so struck by everyone living together and asked the families how they manage it. They looked at us so perplexed and couldn’t understand why we didn’t live with our family members. I remember growing up and I couldn’t wait to go away to college at 18 and move out and I never looked back. Things were pretty rocky at home and I needed to move for my own salvation and in America that was the norm.

Photo by fauxels on Pexels.com

Now, here we are and 2 of our 4 kids are living with us and we are all navigating this uncharted territory which hasn’t been easy, but finding the benefits while managing the complexities of the financial burden and help with daily chores. America is now catching up and finding that 55% of the 22-35 years olds are living in fact do live at home and I’m sure that number will rise with the pandemic in place until who knows when.

But let’s be clear, this is a challenging time and as I age I find it difficult to live with anyone anymore, if I am to be completely honest. And I would venture to say, they find it difficult to live with me as well.

Having my Dad here is a deeper opportunity for letting go of trying to please someone so near and dear to my heart even though I know that I am not there at the moment. Our days are numbered and short. Life is fragile. I won’t get these moments and days back. I have a choice. What do I want? Will I choose to sit with this and stew and let it consume me and miss the opportunity of growth or will I let it go and clear the air? No doubt he was scared since I’m his lifeline.

I am reminded of the words of Don Miguel Rodriguez in his book The 4 Agreements which I listed below.

The Four Agreements:

  1. Be Impeccable with your word.
  2. Don’t take anything personally.
  3. Don’t make assumptions
  4. Always do your best

I am going to go to my mat now and pray to open my heart and release my ego of righteousness and illusion.

I will go in and invite him for a chat. I’m not sure where it will take us exactly but I will go forward, not backward in time or division.

It’s time to practice what I preach and It is so much easier when I am facilitating a Life Coaching session, rather than living one.

And this my friends is how you coach yourself.

Have a blessed day and remember What someone thinks of you is NOT your Business, so don’t take it personally. But don’t hold on to it, you only hurt yourself.

Blessings,

❤️

Cindy

Please like (if you do of course), comment and or share. Many thanks.

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Kumar Harsh
1 year ago

True words of wisdom here Cindy. Hope you are okay. It’s frightening to even read what you are experiencing. I can only hope that you have the strength to face this dual calamity with the positive mind you have. I too am living with parents and I do not plan on leaving as such only if my employment demands. I don’t know, I have always heard about people in America about leaving their parent’s house as soon as they become an adult. Maybe that would be good. It’s just cultural thing I suppose. It evolves as we try to decode our surroundings. The way I put it, maybe in many countries where the resources are limited and the people sharing it are more, it becomes an efficient plan to share. For example, a house with two more rooms for two kids is better than two houses or if the kids start earning at one point of time, they can have a much larger collective income. However, the way things are at different parts of the world, they might be as well a bane for their cultures. Independence is the one great thing the children learn at much younger age than other kids of other countries.
I hope you are well Cindy. Take care. 😇

Kumar Harsh
Reply to  Cindy Georgakas
1 year ago

😇

gulfcoastpoet@gmail.com
1 year ago

Cindy, you have been in my thoughts. I have also been concerned about Robert’s sister and her family who live in California, but they are up north and OK for now. After reading this post, I see that the fires are only part of the challenges you face…sandwiched between both the older and the younger generations! I admire how you are handling the stress and recognizing the opportunities. I wish I could send you some of the soaking rains we are experiencing, but I will just send my best wishes. “This too shall pass!”
Cheryl <3

gulfcoastpoet@gmail.com
Reply to  Cindy Georgakas
1 year ago

Cindy, I am sorry for the confusion. Robert is my significant other. We have lived together for 6 years. I was married twice for 18 years each. The first marriage ended in an amicable divorce. The second husband died in 2003. I apologize if this is too much information. Take care, Cheryl

Lisa Mae
1 year ago

Cindy,
My heart goes out to you. It’s definitely uncharted territory when adult children become caregivers- for both sides. When my sister and I cared for my parents (at the same time my husband was ill), we all had major adjustments to make. They found it easier when they had the last word in the decision- making processes, after being presented with every possible option. It was down and dirty and stressful for my sis and I, but to put things in perspective, I just kept thinking how hard it was for them to see themselves falling apart. XO Lisa

Lisa Mae
Reply to  Cindy Georgakas
1 year ago

❤️

Debra B Gevertz-Licolli
Debra B Gevertz-Licolli
1 year ago

That was so honest and heartfelt Cindy. So much on your plate. We are relying on how we felt growing up when all was much simpler. I too had no intention of living home past the age of 18 and did not except for a short time here and there. Yes in other countries it is common for all of the family to live together. I guess much of it is changing mind set and maneuvering in a different way. You are a blessed mother, daughter, spouse, and friend!

Kritika
1 year ago

Hope things get better both the ways you are fighting for. All the best. Take care of yourself as you are your priority. 🙏😊💕

Kritika
Reply to  Cindy Georgakas
1 year ago

🌷😊

Muralikrish
1 year ago

I could understand your feelings, Cindy. When everyone together that’s strength. Now this family concept is getting outdated. I dont understand why people want to be alone. Are they happy?

Anyway hope you are safe.

ellia33
ellia33
1 year ago

I like and I love you 😘

Sent from my iPhone

>

Piyush Gulati
1 year ago

I have goosebumps after reading this. It takes a lot of courage Cindy to write and open up about something so personal and heartfelt. You’re so brave. I hope that you swim through this uncharted territory and achieve new heights in life.
More power to you and bless you ! 💖✨
– Piyush | The Thinking Pen

Piyush Gulati
Reply to  Cindy Georgakas
1 year ago

You too Cindy ! 💖😊

Ingrid
1 year ago

I am sorry to hear how the fires are affecting you and your family, but it’s wonderful that you are seizing every opportunity for spiritual growth. I too try to seize these opportunities, but often fail miserably. I read ‘The Voice of Knowledge’ but should probably read ‘The Four Agreements’ as well – I think it takes a lot of time and practice to live by these principles.

On another note, I nominated you for the Vincent Ehindero award, do take a look at the post on my blog if you are interested!

Ingrid
Reply to  Cindy Georgakas
1 year ago

It is by Don Miguel Ruiz so if you like The Four Agreements you will probably like this too! You take care as well 😊

Francochuks' Blog
1 year ago

Wonderful blog 👍
I Nominate you in Liebster Blogger award.
https://francochuksblog.wordpress.com/2020/08/25/liebster-blogger-award/
Congratulations.

Eliza
1 year ago

The like if you like made me smile.
Living with adult children at home is definitely challenging! I love how you work through your life in writing…
Love, light and glitter

Eliza
Reply to  Cindy Georgakas
1 year ago

It is…
💕🕯✨

ecohorizons
1 year ago

God may seem far ,
Shining like a star,
but in real , the divine is so near ,
In the very now here ,
The guidance is so clear…

ecohorizons
Reply to  Cindy Georgakas
1 year ago

🎶🌏🌎🌍🌐🗺⛰🏡😊😊😊😊😊😍

ecohorizons
1 year ago

When the night gets dark
And the clouds emit a lightening spark ,
Water would nourish us with rain ,
to bring joy and transcend the pain ,
All things happen through us to gain ,
For our balance to regain ,
https://youtu.be/dUx7m0pHzjM

ecohorizons
Reply to  Cindy Georgakas
1 year ago

Do what you can but rely on God to figure out solutions as well …

Mystic Dee
1 year ago

Enjoyed your saying Cindy. Hope the fires are under control in your area.

marlene ford gf Sesse
marlene ford gf Sesse
1 year ago

Dear Cindy,
I feel your pain, I was forty years of age before I ever heard the words I love you from my father. I always knew he loved me .after all he was the one who said my prayers with me and read the Bible with me at night but he was not demonstrative. When he became ill I took care of him and it was a healing experience for me. Thinking back I was always striving for his approval and finally realized he just didn’t know how to express himself leaving me feeling inadequate.it was such a gift to experience his passing and see the peaceful expression on his face when he left his physical body .
Thank you for sharing your most intimate feelings .you sound very wise and enlightened
The pictures you share are so beautiful.
Stay healthy, vital and strong in these difficult times .
Sending you love and prayers for your highest good

Deborah Kleé Author
1 year ago

I loved this post and the wisdom within. You have had a very challenging time. Sending loving thoughts to you and your family.

Karen Lynne Klink
1 year ago

As my friend and I used to say: AFGA, Another F*ing Growth Experience. You are allowed to first be angry, upset and, yes, even frightened by an experience you are not ready for. You are allowed to have the feelings you have. Acknowledge those first. Then move on, which it appears you are doing. I admire your willingness and ability to take the reins of a difficult situation and make the best of it. Remember to ask for help from those around you, even the little bit your father can do. It might make him feel better to know he can do something, to say nothing of your children. Don’t take it all on alone. This is a time for full family cooperation and responsibility. Love and hugs to you.

Joel Abakah
1 year ago

Not taking things personally is really an efficient way to handle things. It leaves us with an open mind to deal with the situation at hand without having our emotions take us over completely. Not making assumptions too… I mean it’s better to hear a person out that assume for yourself what you think they meant or wanted them to mean. Thanks for sharing your wisdom!

Breathe in and out Cindy… settle things with Papa😊💚

marlene ford gf Sesse
marlene ford gf Sesse
1 year ago

Dear Cindy,
I feel your pain. I too took care of my father when his health was declining .It is so sad when you love someone and look up to them and want their approval but don’t feel acknowledged.i was forty years of age before I ever heard my father say the words I LOVE YOU . Even though he was the one that said my prayers with me and read the Bible to me before I went to bed at night he was not a demonstrative being. I have to say it was a real blessing for me to be able to finally have a chance to get to know my father intimately while he was getting ready to make his transition to the other side. Some of our most valuable lessons are during times of adversity at least that has been my experience..

It has to be a difficult time for you given the fact that you have three generations to deal with all at once .
You sound like a very bright and enlightened being that can manage things very well . I feel like I know you having followed your blogs for some time now .

It was so helpful to hear your story and so brave of you to share such intimate happenings with everyone. I am sending you love and prayers that you stay WELL,VITAL AND STRONG..

geno
1 year ago

I like your effort for your posts. but there is too much text for me. I have poor eyesight despite reading glasses. i need a magnifying glass for this text. sorry, but an interesting blog.

PoojaG
1 year ago

I am so sorry to hear that your dad had to evacuate but hopefully you are all safe. I’m a people pleaser so I definitely understand your need for approval especially from your dad. I hope you are able to find a way to move past that and are able to get to a place where you no longer seek his approval.

PoojaG
Reply to  Cindy Georgakas
1 year ago

You’re very welcome and I hope you are able to truly heal!

saakshiborkar
1 year ago

Indeed true wisdom comes through up’s and down’s that we go through in our life.It was really frightening to read this but also it was an inspiration for me the way you faced it and the way you are fighting it.Sending you my best wishes!!!!

radhikasreflection
1 year ago

I am glad that you are such a positive person Cindy. I am sure that helps cope with challenges better. Sending you virtual hugs. Take care and hope things ease out ❤️

Ladysag77
1 year ago

I always say that what God brings me to, He will help me get through. Wisdom is something I feel I’ve gained in the last few years. I always enjoy reading your posts because we share such similar mindsets, staying mindfully open😉
I have book the book and audio version of “The 4 Agreements” and I recommend it often to my clients. His son wrote a wonderful book on shamanism called,”The medicine bag”. It’s so important to be able to shift. I always laugh when people ask me what my 5 year plan is, I live with no expectations and for the moment. As we can now see, our world can change rapidly. Allowing space for what is necessary and most important is crucial and for me that is always love. My son who is 19 and I are currently living with my parents who are 76 and 87 due to financial matters plus we want to be here to care for them during this pandemic. It’s not easy but I know it’s temporary until my partner can join me and then the 3 of us will move to our own place. I had to pivot and my life took a 180 degree turn in March when our country shut down. I’ve changed careers and relocated to another state. All for my betterment. I’ve learned thatife is constantly changing, no to look back but to instead learn from the challenges. I wish you and your family the best during this time. So much love my friend ❤❤❤

Nawazish
1 year ago

I cannot imagine to what you are experiencing. Whatever you wrote is so heartwrenching. You are so strong a person who is maintaining her head and stands tall in the time of adversity. I’ll pray to God for your safety. Take care!❤❤

Nawazish
Reply to  Cindy Georgakas
1 year ago

Pleasure is all mine! I don’t think you have missed a post but there was some problem with the website as I couldn’t find your posts in my feed! May be you were experiencing the same thing. The website gets crazy sometimes!😅😅

Nawazish
Reply to  Cindy Georgakas
1 year ago

Even my mail is full of notifications! Can’t help it!

Chocoviv
1 year ago

I grew up living with my paternal grandma. Then after she passed my maternal grandparents moved in after I moved out ….then I lived with my in laws under one house for about 15 years. Now we live side by side in a duplex… it’s been five years now. Our culture embraces living with a large family. There could be chaotic situations but when something happens, we are able to get together quickly to help each other to adapt…… I am grateful for that.

Chocoviv
Reply to  Cindy Georgakas
1 year ago

We had many battles… over everything…. but this year I was able to stand my ground ….

Colorful Sisters
1 year ago

Lovely words. You have a beautiful soul dear 🙂

trackback
1 year ago

[…] Grow in Wisdom […]

catherinebwrites
1 year ago

Thanks for follow Cindy. I too practise Tai Chi, in theory, every day. Then along come the days when I fall off my home made pedestal and don’t get round to it but i always get back to it eventually.

Earn Online
1 year ago

I’m really inspired together with your writing abilities and also with the structure in your blog. Is this a paid subject matter or did you modify it your self? Either way stay up the nice quality writing, it’s rare to see a great weblog like this one today.

rothpoetry
1 year ago

Wow! I did not realize you were so close to the fires. You dad and his 90 year old girlfriend made me smile! We never are past our parental responsibilities until they are gone it seem.
Dwight

rothpoetry
Reply to  Cindy Georgakas
1 year ago

It must be!!

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