When you Assume and you take something Personal;
You make and Ass out of U and Me. ASS U ME
Last week I wrote about Miquel Ruiz’s Book on the 4 Agreements If you recall. You can always go back to my post and read it or even google it if you are interested. It’s a short book with lots of pearls of wisdom.
You might remember that there was some tension between my Dad and I when he was evacuted and stayed with us for the week.
The truth is it brought me back to being 10 years old and feelings I had thought I had resolved long ago came front and center, smacking me in the face and took me to that wounded little girl. I do NOT like those feelings trust me and the part that really bothered me was catapulted back in time like a ship lost at sea. I’m also working on a teaching memoir which shattered all of my ideas that I had some knowledge to impart.
The main thing was, that he was safe, he was able to create a relationship with my kids in a deeper way and we shared moments that we missed out on when I was a kid, since my parents divorced when I was 13. That was a gift and we had some wonderful moments. My 90 year old client stayed after a session with me and had coffee with my Dad on the deck and as it turned out they lived on the same street, Washington Street, in San Francisco but on opposite sides of each other. My client on the wealthy side and my Dad the other where they tried to make ends meet. They both played tennis and recounted story after story of mutual friends, tennis players, pros, places etc. It turned out my client went to the same high school as my Aunt, my Dad’s sister, and were only a year a part.
My mom dropped by and they always pick up where they left off without a missed beat talking and laughing about the past and the future of my brother who has mental health issues.
The elephant continued to be in the room and while I know my Dad would have side stepped the whole issue as most men do, I can never let bygones be bygones until I put them to rest. I really didn’t want to spend the time rehashing old issues etc. but I couldn’t sit any more in this fake sense of normalcy which was all too familiar growing up. Finally, I said “Dad, let’s talk about what happened the other night”. In true fashion he said “Oh, that’s over”, (it was about being disappointed in me for not hearing the phone ring and answering right away) if you recall. I said “Dad, it’s important that I understand where you were coming from, because it’s not over for me”. The first 10 minutes were spent trying to avoid the subject which was the usual denial I was so familiar with growing up, yet seething inside because things were swept under the rug.
Finally, after much digging and pinning him down it turns out he ASSUMED I was avoiding him and didn’t pick up the phone. I didn’t hear the phone and called him as soon as I could. Of course, I was avoiding him to burn in the fire. LORD have mercy. Ha ha! The next problem was, I took it personally as though I had done something wrong and couldn’t stand his disapproval. Look how quickly a small incident gets blown out of proportion when we assume and take things personally.
As soon as we got this sorted through, we were able to clean up the mess we created and let it go. Feelings I thought were once healed opened like a flood gate inside and I was a babbling brook, uncontrollable as he sat not quite knowing what had just happened. Wounds reopened and were cleansed deeper which is often what happens when an old trigger comes up. This surprised me as much as it did him. He sat most likely thinking his daughter was now going crazy too but when things are pushed down they can either errupt or create seething and unresolved emotions that show up in a mirage of other ways. I told him things he never knew about me and he appologized for not being there for me growing up.
We had an opportunity to clear things up and move on. This is definitly a longer chapter and maybe that book will have some meaning but the main message I want to impart is that it’s important to remember how assuming and taking things personally can separate and divide and the sooner you realize that, the sooner you will be able to move on. But they are just words unless you actually put them in action.
We can’t go around every moment doing what I just did…hell, we’d never make it through a day… ha ha! But we can go back later and clean things up, let go and move on.
Thank you for reading and I do hope it was helpful for you in some way or another.
Please like ( if you do of course), comment and or share. So much appreciation.
Blessings of Light and Love,
This is such a heartfelt post Cindy. I can feel the emotions. Ask before assume. I am really happy that you took the much needed step to clear things out. ❤️
Thanks so much for reading it and your wise words!!! Me too! 😍🥰
it’s true for me that my parents brought me back to my girlhood…always good to have said what we need to…I miss my parents very much…so enjoy your father. Sending you joy and peace Cindy ~ off to do my yoga now 💟☮️🕉 smiles hedy
Awe thanks Hedy!! We never know what we miss till it’s gone, you’re right. Sweet that would love to hear that! I will and do! Enjoy your practice-:) ❤️
did you get the response I wrote and thought I sent? Thanks.
I see it now Cindy thank you…my parents were very loving and a lot of work at end of life…the most profound experience was witnessing my fathers death and dying story…just love them. I know you do ☺️❣️🙋♀️
Oh good Hedy.. Glad it came through. thanks so much for letting me know. I’m so happy to hear you had that love together and were there for them. It sounds like an incredible experience you got to be part of and witness with your father’s passing. There is nothing quite as beautiful in the end of life… at least for me with my mother in law and some clients I have sheppard through at the end. I’d love to hear about your experience sometime. Thanks for sharing that!!❤️🙏
So heartwarming to read this Cindy. we all have things that we cling onto. In the letting go of which. We discover the uplifting spirit of something deeper than love, wider than forgiveness. Just the bare natural beauty of an unburdened being
Thank you so much for that beautiful message, thank you! That is so true and you are so right. Thanks for sharing your lovely words!
thanks Ananda!!! did you get a response from me? I wrote one but can’t find here. 🙏
Yes, i got both your responses now 🙂
oh good! Glad we’re back in the loop. Thanks for letting me know! 🙏
It sounds like you both had a learning experience born out of an uncomfortable incident. What a blessing to have that! Thank you for sharing it with us 🙏 I was back in the family home for a week not long ago, and a week is about my limit. Perhaps something I need to work on too!
you are so right Ingrid.
It’s always a blessing to clear the
air and connect on a depper level when possilbe.
Thank you for sharing and for your apprecatiation,
I really am grateful for that. There is a saying that
says after 3 days visitors smell like fish… lol so a week is
pretty good. I have a client that says that often. You went to
spam with a lot of people did and no clue why?!? Drives me crazy.
Please lmk you got this. Thanks a lot!!!🙏❤️
Thank you Ingrid. If you got this twice my apologies! Uncomfortable incidents do make us grow and I have found create an opening if we will heed the call. It’s not always easy though!!! I truly appreciate you letting me know you enjoyed it. It’s a challenge after moving out to move back I’ll say. Sounds like you pretty good as most people can only handle a couple days! xo
such an heartfelt post, Cindy 💙
I really appreciate your kind words. Thanks for sharing❣️
Love this, Cindy!
Thanks so much Rishika!!❤️
Thank you so much Rishika!!!! ❤️
aww… thank you Rishika!!!
Beautiful story, Cindy! What courage, vulnerability, and strength. This is how we change and heal our past in the present moment. I was told and believe that the woman is truly the spiritual leader in the home. Bravo, sister!
Thank you writng Diva Vicki !!! I really appreciate you sharing that with me. I always debate sharing my truth and yet there it is and you saw behind the words! Such insight you have! Thanks dear one!!! ❤️🙏
Thank you so much Writer Diva of words! I truly appreciate your comment and noticing the courage it took when I took wish I could have swept it under the carpet. I have learn throught the years, like you it only hurts ourselves and our relationship.
Cheers to that sister!! ❤️🙏
Enjoyed thoroughly 👍👍
Thank you so much Dulcy!!!🙏
Wow Cindy. So brave of you to face your issues. The community is so blessed to have read this piece of your mind. I can only imagine how hard it must have been for you to cope up with the feelings you had when you were a child. I am deeply sorry for what might have gone through you. But after reading this I can admire of what you have become. A loving, caring and accommodating parent to your kids. You gave them what you missed out and that’s so courageous Cindy. You made a choice to be better and you have become better. This has made me respect you even more than before. Warm hugs and love Cindy. 😘😍😇
As always Kumar, I take your words to heart and I am most appreciative of your respect and kindness. Thank you for sharing your very heartfelt words and taking the time to share them with me. It means a lot, that I have conveyed my message as intended and I do feel very blessed and happy I have been able to give my children the gift of knowing themselves and a happy childhood. You have made me think of another post for another time so thanks for that too! A twofer!!! Hey, do me a favor and message me like you did.. I’ve been trying to message you back but can’t seem too.. either that or email. me. Thanks! ❤️🤗
Check Cindy. 😇
This is a great post. It’s amazing how much we bury. We all do our best— I really believe that. It’s just sometimes our best stinks.
It’s so nice that you were able to talk it through with your dad.
Healing, no matter how small or large, is such a blessing. ❤️
♡ No Chance, No Randomness, No Coincidence; just Our CHOICES!!! and Our DECISIONS!!!
I enjoy your posts.
I have been meaning to reply to you since your first post about the difficulty with your dad. You had mentioned something about him refusing to make plans for his aging life, and by him not making plans it means you will be making decisions for him at a very difficult time.
You may remember many years ago one of our sessions. It all centered around my dad. He was always a difficult person. We just didnât know it growing up because it is all we had known.
As my parents moved into their early 90s, (living in a 2 story house in Denver, with the one full bathroom on the second floor) I tried so many times to get them to have a plan. All they said was that they werenât going to leave their house. Thatâs fine I told them. But that means making plans for getting help, perhaps doing a little remodel to get a bathroom and bedroom on the first floor, etc. Nope. They said they were fine.
They were fine, until they werenât.
My dad went into a difficult time with dementia. My mom remained powerless to challenge him. She was so tired of taking care of the house, doing all the shopping, cooking, cleaning. And then my dad fell and broke his hip. And thatâs when my mom called my sister in Phoenix and me here and said she was so scared about when he would get out of rehab because she just couldnât take care of him and she wanted to move to assisted living.
Because the move was now being done in a hurried crisis situation there were not a lot of choices. It was awful and ugly and hard.
My mom died 7 months later.
We realized how far into dementia my dad had strayed now that he didnât have Mom to prop him up. A hurried move to a memory care unit. Which turned out to be a nightmare. Then a move to a much better memory care facility. He died 9 months after my mom.
There were terrible battles between my sister and me (medical agents) and my niece (financial agent).
It was an ugly dysfunctional time. I will always have regret. But the people around me who love me continue to remind me that I did the best I could given the players. The only thing I could have done âbetterâ would have been to move to Denver and live with them. So somebodyâs quality of life had to be sacrificed and I chose not to sacrifice mine.
This turned into a bit of a catharsis for me. But you should know that everything you are doing for your dad right now is marvelous and wonderful and I hope you are able to see that and that you donât have regrets or âplay back the tapes of I should haveâ¦â
And â¦. you and your husband can start on making your own plan for the ugly part of aging so that you get to make your own decisions and your kids donât have to do all the heavy lifting.
If you donât already know about Elder Care Specialists, then take a look at their discipline. I hired one in Denver. I hired one who specialized in helping adult children who were out of state. She was marvelous. She knew the system. Everything going on with us was not anything new to her. My niece and my sister were against having her on board so I hired her privately for myself. Her website is compasscaresforseniors.com. Itâs a good website and gives a thumbnail sketch of what elder care specialists can do for a person and their family.
I really appreciated the post about back exercises.
It is soooo good to hear from you! Thank you so much for your comment and taking time to respond from experience and concern.
In the serendipity of life, I’ve been thinking of you a lot and just yesterday thought, I have to call Kris and see how she is doing and now here you are. Such a nice surprise!!! Love how the unniverse works.
YES, I rememeber explixitly the issues you had to deal with with your parents and how difficult it was for you. My heart went out to you for how challenging it was for you navigating all of this and I really commend you for everything you did and tried to do when your hands were tied.
I appreciate more than ever your dilemma then and all of the support you tried to offer and the frustration you went through. It is hair pulling alright when you can see the writing on the wall and there is nothing you can do until there is no choice or until things aren’t fine anymore like you so poingently described.
How awful to witness both of them going down hill at the same time, loosing your Mom and all that goes with that and then your Dad after that. All while having to deal with the battles of your your sister and niece!!!
I do remember your husband and girls being such wonderful advocates that gave you the support and love that was so appreciated then and I’m glad to hear they continue to now!!!
You are a strong woman to make it through all of that and you have a wonderful heart. I too know you did everything you could possibly do, short of selling your soul and I’m so glad you had the encouragement to not sell out and comprimise your health and family. Please never look back thinking there was something better you could have done. The domino effect of you putting their needs before yours could have surely backfired and that would have been of no use to your beautiful family. You were a wonderful daughter and did the best you could with the constraints they put you under.
Thank you for hearing and understanding the situation I am in. You truly have to have lived it, to get it. I appreciate your kind words of encouragement and seeing my heart of what I am offering in the way of support and being as supportive and available as possible without jepodizing my own health.
Your words are wise to plan our future of what we are going to do as we age and the one thing I pray and commit to, is to vow I will take the necesary steps to assure I have things in place so no one needs to be caught in this predicament.
While I appreciate aging and how difficult it has to be to loose your faculties and body functions, it is our job to be wise, plan ahead and not burden our children with that job. I’m with you there.
Thank you so much for the referral as well. You are a smart cookie for hiring her privately.
I really appreciate you sharing this with me and your support means a lot.
I’m glad you liked the article on the back as well and enjoy my posts. Thanks for the continued support.
How are your feet? I haven’t seen you since then.
I’m so happy to hear from you and miss you.
It would be lovely to have you on online Zoom Yoga on a Wed. night if you ever want to try it and be my guest?!
Lots of Love and appreciation for pouring your heart out and all of your amazing tips!
Stay Strong and Healthy!!!
Big hugs 🤗 and always love ❤️
So brave of you to share. And so helpful ,such insight. Once we face the monsters ,and confront the issues it is so healing and frees us up to get on with life. I’m sure you have heard the saying. “When the student is ready the teacher appears “ Keep up the good work. Your posts are so encouraging for all of us.
So glad you had the opportunity to clear the air with your father and you and your children were able to connect with him on a more intimate level..
I am sure your book will be an interesting read.
Thank you so much Marlene!!!
I really appreciate your insight here and I do love that saying. Yes indeed that is a great saying and so true. We learn from each other and teach best what we have to learn. Thankfully, others in our path are gifts to see where our growing edges are, including our parents.
Thank you it was a nice give to have time which we never get back.
Awww. thank you.. can I count on you to buy a copy? LOL.. I’ll even sign it for you..
Stay Strong!!! Be Well! ❤️🙏
I love this post, Cindy. Great story.
Forget and forgive would bring amazing relationships.
If weren’t ready to forget those past, we won’t have anything in our life.
Thanks for sharing.
Thank you so much Murali!! I really appreciate your wisdom here and sharing it. You are so right!!! Life is always about moviing forward and making amends. On another note: I cannot access your WordPress posts even though I follow you. I have turned off email notifications and only follow through reader because it is too much to manage. Can you kindly check your spam and she if I am in there? Also, can you enable reader so I can access? I don’t want to miss your posts. Thank you so much! 🙏
Reader is already enabled. You can get my posts there. I posted an article yesterday. It’s available over there. Please check.
The post title: What is productivity
Thanks for telling me.. Somehow you are not is my follow site and we are friends.. so weird .. I’ll have a meeting with them at some point soon.
Thanks I’ll try to find Muralie . I often have to check with Beck and she sends me the link. I know your site and name etc. It’s just a W.P. glitch i suppose.. ugh! ❤️
Ha..ha..👌👍. Thank you very much.
What a great real life example you’ve highlighted here. It’s important to exercise our new life skills in all our relationships especially the original ones, with our family. It’s a very challenging situation at times. I definitely have my moments with my own, especially since we’re cohabitating. That’s just one more reason to love Don Miguel’s book because it’s such an honest and true blueprint for life. I really love your personal touch in this, it’s so heartfelt and relateable❤
Thank you so much for letting me know. I really appreciate you sharing that and your challenge at times as well. We sure keep having deeper lessons for healing until we get it right and having everyone in one house hold definitely gives us more opportunities for growth. Kudos to you and to us and to Don Miquel. I really appreciate your response and so glad it spoke to you. Hugs, ❤️🤗
Yes yes YES, hugs and ❤ back atcha🥰
“Assumptions are made and most assumptions are wrong”~ Albert Einstein
Assumptions can cause so much unnecessary tension when we could simply ask and know for sure what it is we’re assuming. I’m glad you cleared things up with your Dad. All that was needed was an open and honest and straightforward conversation.
You see how old wounds you thought you healed came back? That’s just a fixated illusion we turn into reality to shut down our problems, so when we get one chance at doing things right, it all comes rushing back.
Thanks for sharing. I learnt a lot from this, Cindy 💚
Great quote by one of the best and that’s always true… except when you don’t like the answer… lol. Then I need to remember to step back and when it’s not my problem, not bite.. Easier said than done but the most direct approach to mindfulness and meditation.
Exactly, open, honest communications are important to move to higher ground. Glad we got it right. Thanks so much for sharing this and your wise words. You’re welcome and thank you Joel. ❤️
You shared, I learned, we learned. Thank you too Cindy.
I really appreciate this lovely post. I enjoyed reading this post. Thanks
This is such an important conversation, Cindy. Thank you for sharing so candidly. The fact that you were able to get it out on the table and discuss it means that it will probably come up as an issue less and less often. When it does, you can both identify it more quickly and put a stop to the escalation. Super post. 🙂
Thank you so much Marsha. I really appreciate you sharing your insight! You are so welcome and also right. It is soooo true! Have a great day!!
You too, Cindy. 🙂
I am so glad you and your dad were able to talk about what happened and clear things up. Unfortunately, like you said when we bottle things up they often come out all at once and make the matter more difficult. However, the best thing to do is just talk about it and work things out rather than make assumptions about the situation which can lead to more problems.
Thanks Pooja for your insightful comments and response. I appreciate that. It’s truly always the way through. Big hugs!!!🤗
You’re very welcome 😊💖
This is so well written Cindy! When we assume things we hurt only ourselves first and then by our action others. It’s always good to clear out the air!❤❤
YES indeed Nawazish! It is so true!!! ❤️
Good for you Cindy for talking about the issue and finding resolution before things got too out of hand. I too lived with two elephants in the room, drunken elephants that were very abusive, so I understand what you are talking about. I would say this however, my mom was sober after my dad died and two years later she killed herself. I miss my mom. I was in my twenties and had a three year old daughter. So I am glad you worked it out. It is a blessing to have the time to work things out. I would love to have a cup of coffee with my mom and talk about her life. I never got an opportunity to do that so I am glad you do and did. Love 💕 Joni
Aww Joni, Thank you so much and I appreciated you sharing your life growing up. That had to be so hard on you. That was a lot to deal with and you managed to have a beautiful daughter but not easy to loose your mom when she was so young. So sorry you missed that time with her and your daughter. Yes, it’s so true. We don’t have forever and those moments of working it out is what life is all about. Second chances are good too. I’m so glad I did as well.
Thank you so much Joni. ❤️ Cindy
You are so welcome my friend. You are stronger than you think I bet and it took courage to confront the situation. Good for you. Great post. Looking forward to reading more. Love 💕 to you. Joni
Well, as the saying goes, you teach best what you need to learn and if you don’t walk your talk in my line of work, you are transparent and can never truly empower anyone. Thanks Joni and I’ll look forward to more of yours! 🙏 Cindy
Amen to that. Be blessed my friend. Love ❤️ Joni
Nice and funny post❤
Thanks for reading and your comment!
Most welcome,my dear Cindy!!
This post is so relatable. Assumptions in life can lead to a lot of disasters like misunderstandings, false expectations, heartbreaks etc. It is very important to stay connected with the reality.
Great post. Stay blessed and keep writing Cindy 💖✨
Thank you sooo much for your kind and astute comments Piyush! Yes, that is so true and so hard to live but I do try to practice everyday. I will and you as well!!! Blessings to you!!! 🙏❤️
Amen and thank you for your kind wishes 🙌😊
Oh, this went straight to my heart.
I am glad that you were able to clear things up and move on. I hope it’s permanent and you’ve settled everything finally…
I believe it’s always like that for adult daughters and their dads. Although we’re older and are grown ups, we always revert to the once young girl who is waiting for the father’s approval. This happens to me every time. My parents and I attend the same church and my father is a higher level official. I am one of the junior preachers, but I wasn’t new to the gig. He would sometimes contradict me while teaching which is so odd. In my head, I want to tell him like, ‘why do you question me all the time, I actually had Masters in Theology and you’ve got Bachelor’s only’ — but of course I would not say that verbally… it’s just the bratty daughter in me who wants to throw fits and cry. I keep quiet in these situations. He doesn’t know that I get embarrassed or that he undermines the authority that our church has given me by treating me like a child.
There’s one time during Covid, my cousin who is a nurse asked for my advice since she got infected and was asked to work again after 10 days without being re-tested. Her husband (also a nurse working at the same place) and son were exposed to her but they were treated like it’s regular program. Her husband still worked while having body malaise, untested.
I was the HR Manager of that company that’s why they came to me — not because I am some kind of Covid guru… I was instructing my cousin as to what she should do and say… but she is afraid to speak up and fight for her rights, she said she’s scared to get fired… I know firsthand that their boss is a reasonable man — but you need to reason… otherwise, he will take advantage of their meekness. Because that’s who he is. He gives to those who asked.. if you’re kind, you’d be forgotten.
I was explaining that to them on zoom because I have worked with the guy for 15 yrs… I know that person too well. My father shouted at me again in front of my cousin (his direct niece) and her husband saying I shouldn’t interfere… when they came to me for advice! My father wants me to directly talk to my former boss which is weird because I no longer work there.
I was about to cry because because although they were in zoom, my sisters were physically with me and I can see that they pitied me. My mom, as always took him to the room and nagged him about it. According to my mom, my father told her that he’s always seen me so strong and my cousin is weak. I should fight for her. I told her she is 32 years old. I have been fighting with that businessman since I was 25! and I was young and naive back then. My father thinks everyone is weak but me. Apparently, it is a compliment. He thinks so highly of me that I can do almost anything. But he doesn’t know that I get tired of doing things for everyone. It’s time for others to fight for themselves.
We didn’t talk because if ever, it’s like the nth reconciliation. I am not mad at him. I just wished he would stop treating me like a child. I can’t even say that because that’s not how you treat a child.
OMG Cindy, this has become so long.
Dear Janis, Thanks for sharing your heart with me. I can see why it went straight to yours. Life keeps giving us lessons and opportunities to learn and grow from. Even though you love each other, it sounds like you and your Dad like me and mine has some issues that could use some light shed on to clear the air.. It’s difficult because it is the job of parents as I see it to allow children to grow wings and fly and yet there are expectaions they have of their children at the same time. It’s not always fair or justified. Often they expect us to fullfull their wishes or live vicarioulsy through us. I expect as I’m writng my book, I will come up against more memories that will help me to release things where I feel I was wronged. In my case I have been the adult in the house with my parents and when soneone isn’t there to hold you emotionally it’s difficult to continue being there for them at times
I’m glad you got this off your chest as it sounds like a lot to bare.
Congratulations on to you on getting your masters degree in Theology and being a junior preacher. That is awesome and I can imagine how maddening and embarrasing it must be to be undermined by your Dad in the congregation!!! I am so sorry you continue to deal with that kind of negation that is never ok! Of course you are triggered to the little girl inside that is a bratty child and wants to cry and why wouldn’t you be?! The good news is that you are aware of it so it doesn’t go underground and come out in funny odd ways. It is your dad’s problem but of course it affects you, as every child wants to recognized and seen by their parents.
Would it be possible for you to let him know you would like to talk and share your feelings of how it makes you feel? Maybe he is unaware and or maybe he feels inadeaquate since you have a masters and he only a bachelor degree. idk. I know our cultures are different but communication is important accross the board to create a shift in relationships. The parent child relationship progresses and changes and you are now a young woman that deserves to be recognized and awknowledged.
You may never get that from him but it always helpful to tell your truth. It’s vital you know that you are deserving.
You have good insights and it was kind of you to try to empower your sister to speak up to someone you have inside information on and know so well. If you can’t speak up for yourself and your family in the case of life or death, when can you! You gave insight and were kind to share it with her which can be so frustrating when logic isn’t used especially in a case like this. I’m sorry your parents even had to be part of the Zoom call.
When we don’t let others fail and in this case the stakes were high, they will never do things for themselves and it is a heavey burden to carry, to always fight someone’s battles. When you stop they have to learn to be strong as well so you disempower them when you do it for them. It is a gift when you stop and they have to figure it our or not. I’ve adopted a term NMP: Not My Problem when need be.
It’s great your mom says it is a compliment and he thinks you’re strong but it is not your job to be the pillar of strength for your family.
I would encourage you to set some clear bounderies and a time to let him know that you appreciate how strong he thinks you are etc but that you really need him to know a few things… Let him know your feelings so there is no attack but maybe you can reach an understanding and he can realize you are not a child anymore and you can create and build an adult to adult relationship.
Good luck Janis!!!! It’s a tall order I know. YOu are doing great and they are lucky to have you as a daughter and the congregation is a well as your sisters, friends and readers.❤️🙏❤️🙏❤️🙏❤️
Thanks for your reply. It was kind and understanding. I don’t usually talk about this with any of our friends because I don’t want to appear like I was vilifying my father because that wasn’t my intention. He is kind and selfless although the one I have shared earlier may be his only weakness, as a person, as a Christian.
I know that wisdom is not gained based on one’s degree. I know that I still have so much to learn… I defer to him when I have a sermon that I can’t seem to direct to that point I wanted it to go. I do acknowledge his authority and wisdom over me…
Thanks for allowing us to vent (hehe) via your thread. It’s quite cathartic.
I was in tears when I was reading your reply because what you said is definitely true. But you are right, we have to sort it out. I love my father of course, hence the perpetual dream to please him…
I know that the feeling of being responsible for everything and everyone is draining and at the same time, not empowering the ones who are in real need…with that, I am also adopting NMP when need be.
Thank you Cindy for your well-wishes.
I wish you the best and good luck on the book!
You are so welcome and I’m glad you felt safe to bring it up to me in a space where you could vent and release the penthouse up feelings you have. He sounds like a wonderful man who loves you very much with a few flaws like we all have. Oh to be human! Lol 😂
As long as we are on the planet we will have lessons to learn and growing and learning is vital for a happy life. It’s wonderful that you can collaborate with him and respect his guidance. It’s not always easy or possible for others so have dual relationships in work and home; kudos to you!
I did not take this in anyway as an attack on your father and you were very respectful in describing your dilemma which has merit. I bet a conversation with him might lead to an incredible sermon and an opening for deeper communication and understanding. It is clear how much you love him and he you.
Well, we can’t save the world, even though we want to! It’s the old ant age of teach a man to fish or give them the fish. I have learned this overtime in situations that are beyond my control which is sad but has found a place in my soul and psyche so they can rest and the NMP reminds me that my ego is not in charge…
You’re so welcome Janis and thanks for responding. Keep me posted as you move forward. You are doing a wonderful job!
Thanks so much on the wishes on my book. It doesn’t quit seem real as I say it yet… So thanks for your encouragement. I just started the first chapter which is exciting!!!
Thanks a lot Cindy. I will keep you posted and will truly keep your advice on trying to have “that” conversation with him…
Oh great thanks and I will be right there with you in spirit-:)
When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me. 😁
That’s right!!! It’s nice to have you back Gottfried even if I had to drag you here. Thanks for checking “blog”.
Reblogged this on Say Yes to YOUR Potential.
Reblogged this on The Reluctant Poet.
Aww thank you Chuck! Most appreciated! Hope you have had a good weekend! ❤️Cindy
You are so very welcome, My Dear! Always a pleasure to read and share your words and posts with followers!
Very heartfelt and touching 🙏🙏
Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
SOUNDS REALLY GOOD!
Thank you so much Johnnie!
Much appreciated! ❤️ Cindy