I Can’t Wait to See You, But I’ve Changed

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I can’t wait to see you but I’ve changed.

My husband says, “I haven’t changed 

But you have.”

“Of course I say, that’s how life is;  change is the only thing there is”.

He shoots me a stare, a snarl and a shake of his head,

I look at him in disbelief. 

Neither are right or wrong but change is inevitable; and he is right;

“I’ve changed”!

They say woman marry men, hoping they’ll change, 

And men marry women, hoping they’ll  never change.

Is it that woman went along more, when love was new?

Or is it that they finally found their voice and speak up more as they bloom?

I’ve always spoken my truth but was always busy pleasing others, never asking questions.

That’s what mothers, daughters and wives do. 

Put off me to be there for you. 

He loves watching sports (any sport on T.V.) or on the radio,

However, I could care less.

I would rather listen to quiet music, meditate, hike and write.

Men are easy;  Give them a sandwich and sex and they’ll follow you anywhere.

Women want to talk.

Just ask my son. His first sentence was “Mom too many words”

I’ve done it all from work to birthing babies, having umpteen pets, traveled with the 6 of us all over the world, hosted lavish parties with all the decorations.  Cooked great food and concocted amazing drinks and now I’m content to sit in the void while those spin around me.

I’ve changed, it’s true. 

I love my peace and quiet.

Clean floors don’t interest me much, nor does shopping for material objects or having meaningless conversations. 

Don’t get me wrong,

I love a clean house and delicious food, and drink,

 I just don’t want to execute and do it anymore. 

I’ve changed.

And you should know, so when you come home to visit, you’re not disappointed when your Christmas stockings are empty and there aren’t many boxes and I’m not cooking up a storm. 

You’ll find me early in the morning in the moonlight writing, quiet as a mouse, dancing or singing and ready to play a game, take a hike or jump on the bike. 

I’ve changed so I hope you enjoy the memory of the mother, friend, daughter, wife that you once knew and can appreciate who I am now.  If you can’t, I understand.

I love you all no matter what, but it’s important you know;

I’ve changed.  

And I’ll keep changing and so will you.  

Maybe the mother you once knew will reemerge like the butterfly from the cocoon, 

But who knows, I’ve changed. 

Nothing is set in stone.

Besides, the best gift is time spent and memories made and shared, not material gifts.

When you visit my home, please write your message on a stone

This was writen before I experienced the complete shift with my adult children coming home for Thanksgiving in a way that I have never seen before. I suppose all of my warnings have paid off. As they are starting to pile in for the holidays, it is always a gift to my heart. Have a beautiful day.
Thanks so much for visiting today and hope you enjoyed this and gave you permission to listen to your inner voice.

Please like (if you do of course), commemt and or share.

❤️

Cindy

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134 thoughts on “I Can’t Wait to See You, But I’ve Changed

  1. ‘I love a clean house and delicious food, and drink,

    I just don’t want to execute and do it anymore. ‘

    I hear you Cindy! Apparently sheep dogs retire themselves when they’re done rounding up sheep. One day they just refuse to get up and get work. I think I’ve reached that point, and my kids are still too young for this so my husband will just have to get his apron on 😂

    As you can tell, this really resonated with me: thanks for posting! I hope you enjoy the holidays with your family ❤️

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I am so laughing right now, thanks for that! You’re right girl you are too young but with your husband in an apron.. all is good, I’ll see you out in the pasture.
      Glad you enjoyed the read as I appreciate your comment, Thanks you too but I’ll see you as we’re not done yet.. lol 🤣

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I believe in justice and Godly righteousness for both men and women . They all have duties and rights and all have the right to take some space for themselves from time to time to refresh their energies but we should all contribute to the greater good of society …
        See this summary of a book called power versus force because pure consciousness is impartial to both males and females who are both 2 opposites of the same life aspect …
        https://www.allencheng.com/power-vs-force-book-summary-dr-david-r-hawkins/

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Yes for sure we all need to take time for ourselves…. men and woman and it’s the topic of the century. I’ll take a peek when I get a chance.. Thanks!!! Glad to see you stopping and your kind share. 🙏

        Like

  2. “Is it that woman went along more, when love was new? Or is it that they finally found their voice and speak up more as they bloom?” I’ve often wondered that myself. Of course, there is no ‘one size fits all’ answer … but I generally think it’s the latter.

    Liked by 5 people

      1. As a person , I think having more justice to all contributes more to the general well-being of humanity . A person calibrating at a higher level of consciousness can have greater good ripple effect in the world…
        Love between men and women is a 2 way street and hopefully, we can all have more justice , liberty , awareness and trust in the divine flow …

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Time changes. Life changes. Families change. Love changes. We all change. Thank heavens we are able to adapt and grow so successfully to the challenges of change; and, in so doing enjoy every moment of others and our metamorphosis. Have a Very Merry Christmas.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. And that dear Goff should be a post in and of it self with one of your beautiful pics. It is sooo true. Life continues to unravel it’s wonders before us. Thanks for stopping in and your kind comment! Have a beautiful holiday as well. ❤️ Cindy

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Here are the opening lines from my song, “Change Lives In The Wind.”

    “Change is the writer
    Who pens the living song.
    She’s so hard to find and hold;
    I’ve tried for so damn long.”

    Merry Christmas / Buon Natale

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Hi, Cindy, this is such a great post. I think women take longer to realize our feelings and desires are important; we need not always sacrifice. We spend the first part of our lives lovingly toiling away for others. And then midlife arrives and we realize “wait – I also have needs!” Good for you for putting this out there and reinforcing it, even with your hubby! It’s your turn! 😍🌞😇

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh I’m so glad you think so Lisa and I appreciate your comments and weighing in with your wisdom.
      I think for the most part my girls have gotten this insight early thank goodness. THANK YOU for the kind affirmation!!! 💕🥰♥️

      Liked by 1 person

  6. The Team Builds ItSelf; the Tribe is Dictated To by The Chieftans regardless of Gender:

    “ON EVOLUTION IN A SINGLE 3DLIFETIME

    In My Experience there ARE Three Stages of Our Evolutionary Process and May Take Several 3DLifeTimes; these Being:

    ♤ 1. Physical Maturation; these Being Born, Baby, Toddler, Child, Teen, ‘Grown Up’
    ♤ 2. Energetic Growth and Development; Getting to Understand The Light Body WithIn
    ♤ 3. Ascension to 5DState in 3D; along with Our Accountability and Responsibility

    …it’s a painful process; so I Suggest just Endure it because it’s worth it…

    nisi mortuus nec neque nolite vicit 🤭🤫🤐

    …♤♤♤…

    ON 5D DIRECTIVES

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    PRIME

    ♤ 1. Harm Others ONLY!!! if it Helps; then Hold Their Healing Space for Them until They ARE Ready to Step in To Their Healing Space, Tough Love
    ♤ 2. Avoid Accidental Harm; by Isolating Self when in A BAD MOOD!!!
    ♤ 3. No Personal Gain; whatever is Required Flows to Us

    SECONDARY

    ♤ 4. Care
    ♤ 5. Kindness
    ♤ 6. Compassion

    TERTIARY

    ♤ 7. Acceptance
    ♤ 8. Letting Go
    ♤ 9. Assertiveness

    …achieved by Admitting, Acknowledging and Addressing Our MMHI (Multiple Mental Health Issues) from Our Conditioned UpBringing…

    nisi mortuus nec neque nolite vicit 🤭🤫🤐

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    …◇◇◇…

    ON SUCCESSFULLY EVOLVING

    Being in a 5DState in a 3DEnvironment takes some Doing; just like ChildBirth the Painful Physiological Sensations ARE often Very, Very UnComfortable but Worth It, so, in Summary:

    ♡ 1. Endure The DisComfort
    ♡ 2. Remain Humble
    ♡ 3. Enjoy The Outcome

    …a PreRequisite is Admitting, Acknowledging and Addressing Our MMHI (Multiple Mental Health Issues); unfortunately Many Deny that They Have a Mental Health Problem due to the STIGMA!!! and FAIL!!! to find Solutions because They Cannot SEE (Soulful Emotional Energy) The Wood because of The Trees…

    nisi mortuus nec neque nolite vicit 🤭🤫🤐

    …♡♡♡…

    ON SUCCESS CLASS 101

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    ♡ Only YOU!!! Decide what Successful Means to YOU!!!
    ♤ How YOU!!! Succeed is Entirely Up to YOU!!!
    ♧ Clubbing – If Others Belittle YOUR!!! Successes YOU!!! ARE PERFECTLY ENTITLED!!! and Welcome to Tell THEM!!! to VERY KINDLY FUCK OFF!!! – Clubbing

    nisi mortuus nec neque nolite vicit 🤭🤫🤐

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    …◇◇◇…”

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Cindy I love this post soooo much. Every bit resonates with me….As a woman I think it is one of the most honest posts and it’s so mature ….such a realistic viewpoint. We are all dynamic. We toil as per the circumstances and need of the day and we change as per a shift in those. Women are so versatile. They slip into a lot if roles almost effortlessly….well I’m not saying all women do ….but more often they do. Change is good.
    Oh and about the sandwich and sex bit… I think that happens after marriage….they seem to be so receptive and interested during courting days….lol…..
    I enjoyed this one a lot….you put yourself in every post….it shows….and its beautiful

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh I’m so glad you connected with it Ruella. It’s so great to hear your thoughts here. Thank you for weighing in!!!! I think for woman, at least for me, there was an expectation and a subtle non spoken agreement. We are so lucky to live in a time where we are moving in a direction of choice and visabitlity. “We’ve come a long way baby”, but there is a lot more to do. You’re right change is good… it’s actually inevitable.
      so funny on the sex and the sandwich… I hadn’t thought of it that way but I’m sure that’s true for some. I was thinking that as a generalization, their needs are simple and satisfied. I wish I could be more like that actually.
      I am sooooo glad you liked it and I appreciate your support always. Thank you! ❤️ Cindy

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You have so much wisdom Cindy….I always love reading your posts ….they’re intelligent yet positive and encouraging….you have a great outlook and perspective in life♥️🎀♥️🎀♥️🎀♥️♥️♥️🎀♥️

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Change is the most difficult thing that we as humans have to go through. Inertia has always been preferred as it is a state of comfort. However we learn so much more in the process of changing. This was wonderful post Cindy. I could really imagine you reading or writing in the morning while you sipped your coffee. 😇

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It’s so true Kumar and yet we all are forced to go through it so it’s best to surrender to it if possible, rather than going kicking and screaming. So glad you liked it! Thanks for visiting as your support has met the world to me. I bet you could. ❤️🤗

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Good morning Cindy🤗 You know I visited to just say hi and wish you for your Christmas preparations as you told in your last post that you wouldn’t be posting until Thursday or I might remember wrong I guess. But to see your new post, I was elated and as I read, I find it so heart warming so heartfelt that I couldn’t resist but to think how much have I changed. 😊
    Your words are so poignant and you have expressed so fervently Cindy that I love every bit of it. “Men marry women hoping they’ll never change and women marry hoping they’ll change”. This is so true and relatable ❤️ In my almost 6 yrs of marriage, my husband also says, you have changed and I say yes of course, for the better. 😀 But, we women I guess, change and that change also is only meant for her loved ones as her life revolves being just a mother, daughter wife or a sister. ❤️
    Hope you will be having a great fun family time together dear ❤️😊❤️
    lots of love and hugs always ❤️❤️❤️❤️🤗🤗🤗🤗💞💞💞💞

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Good half way between Samreen!
      Oh aren’t you kind to remember that. Thanks so much for the wishes. I truely appreciate that so much. I actually have 2 more posts before I take a break so you get to hear from me in a few hours and Thursday lol.
      I am sooo glad you like this post and could relate to it so much and I’m glad to hear you;ve changed as well,. Yes, life change and we either adapt or go kicking and screaming.
      I love your response to your husband, for the better. We do need to continue to evaluate what is best for us and we adjust and move forward in life. I’m glad you have a mindful eye on this at the stage of your life. Ok love, I’m gonna go get some shut eye for a bit. See you soon.. Big hugs and love.. xoxoo ❤️🤗🤗❤️🤗🤗

      Like

  10. I’ve changed a great deal as well. So much that sometimes it is overwhelming if I let myself think about it too much. What I struggle with is being stuck in that in between space, where change is happening but I’m unsure of where it goes next. It is such an uncomfortable position to be in. Thank you for your writing and I appreciate the way you support mine as well. Happy Holidays to you and yours.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. oh Scott, I’m glad to hear it’s not just me that feels that uncomfortable place of the unknown. It’s the biggest challange for me anyway, Thank you so much for this wonderful share and supporting me. It’s a joy to support you as well. ❤️❤️❤️Thanks for the wishes… you too!
      Cindy

      Like

    1. That’s so wonderful to hear that Karen. I don’t think I’ve heard that part of your story yet! wonderful that you transformed your relationship into sonething that works well in love. Thanks for sharing and visiting today! ❤️

      Like

  11. Well said, Cindy. I think it is more than change. I think it is growth as well. One of the greatest gifts we can give to anyone, whether it is a child, a spouse, an employee or a friend is encouragement to grow, even if it means a changing relationship. My bet is on a growing relationship as well under these circumstances. Yes, Peggy loves me and supports me in my endeavors, just like I support her in hers. We are partners and buddies as well as lovers. Nothing like having a delicious sandwich and great sex, but it is only part of the equation, and I am just as like to make the sandwich as Peggy is to initiate the sex. Grin. Good luck my friend. –Curt

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Curt! Glad you can appreciate these sentimentd on change Curt! Changing relationships are indeed inevitable and a gift. I am constantly expanding and shifting and I put whole self into whatever I do so it can be challenging, I’ll be the first to say. That is very special that you have that give and take and honoring each other whether it be eating a sandwich, lovemaking or traveling togethter. Lucky you! Life is a journey to be shared.
      Thanks and I always appreciate your sweet and honest messages here. ❤️❤️🙏 Cindy

      Like

    1. Oh Angela, glad you liked it but I can only think “sorry you can’t” but your not the sloth I am right now. How you do what You do I’ll never know as it truly is commendable and you are THE BEST MOM and Grandma EVER!.
      R came running in saying ” Mom, there’s a lost dog in the yard running around”. I said “yeah and what do you want me to do about it?’ 🤣🤣 Finally B and G got up.. I said post it, gave it a corner of a CBD pill and put it in the stroller in the gym where she was on the elliptical and left for a client. They never did come searching til 6 at night. 😝 Merry Xmas and have a great holiday as well. It means a lot you read my blog and thanks for your kind comment and always beeing so supportive.!
      Happy Wineing and Whining with your crew. ❤️❤️❤️❤️🤗💃💃💃

      Like

  12. “I’ve changed so I hope you enjoy the memory of the mother, friend, daughter, wife that you once knew and can appreciate who I am now.” Beautiful lines. So eloquent! Wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy New year in advance.☺

    Like

  13. Accepting the changes is considered as mind game. If we make our mind to accept the changes in such a manner, it wouldn’t be that much difficult because change is inevitable in our life.

    Incredible post, Cindy.❤👌👌

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s so true Murali. The more we fight change the harder it is and like it or not, there’s not much we can do about it.
      Sooo glad you liked the post Murali and thanks for your continued support. ❤️🙏! Again, I had to drag you out of trash… 😜😡😝
      Glad I found you though. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

      Like

  14. This is sooo relatable…to everyone I guess. We all change and should be given the liberty to choose our preferences on our own at every point of life. And those who love us will keep accepting us in the process…As u said, “the best gift is time spent and memories made and shared”. 🙃

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Glad you agree Akriti! Yes, we are constantly changing if we’re going to change which is invevitable we have to be willing to accept others changes as well. That’s easier said than done sometimes. ❤️Thanks for stopping in!! It’s good to see you! ❤️

      Like

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