Welcome to Fri-Yay Funday Collab post When Heaven Meets Hell!
Once every so often your path crosses with someone that you might never be friends with. You are from complete opposite sides of the coin, or are you? You can’t explain it but there is sheer delight in the irreverent, and light heartness of deep issues that the other person would say “It’s not that deep”. They make you laugh even though you might not comepletely get their “warped sense of humor” (no judgement there 🤣), or making fun of issues of importance. And they don’t get your esoteric heavenly ways. Men are from Mars and Woman are from Venus. We all know this is true. In this case, He is from Hell and I of course, am from Heaven. 🤣 🔥😇
Can they ever meet in the middle and find equal playing ground?
Step out of your box whereever you stand and have some light hearted fun. We’ve been locked up so long we may have begun to take ourselves too seriously.
Who are you?
The age old question.
I am the wind beneath your wings
So, what’s a nice girl like me doing in a place like this hanging out with you? I was minding my own business doing my job helping people mend their wings so they can fly again and then you came along. I have an important job being an angel and don’t have time for demented souls like you. It’s a full-time job turning damaged goods into worthy ones. And then word gets out that you are so good at it, you put your shingle out and call it heaven. Floating in the clouds is fun for a while, wearing your white robe and Halo and drinking good wine. Not rot gut thunderbird for me, I’ll leave that for you in the lowland. I get the goblets out and say “drink, this is my blood and you will have eternal life and be free”.
Everyone wants freedom but next thing you know they’ve drunk the life right out of you and you’re floating in the Red Sea. So you pour a little more so you can drown their sorrows and yours from the purgatory of YOU. It’s a thankless job but someone’s gotta do it and it sure as hell isn’t gonna be you. You sit in your solitary confinement, laughing the pee out of people, farting, making jokes, raking someone over the coals while you sharpen your horns and stick, ready with a swift prick. Oh to be a prick. Prick you. I just wanna be you for a day. Even Fairy Godmother’s need a time out. Their wings get tired and they get sick of nursing these poor souls back to life.
Who are you?
I‘m Gottfried, your worst nightmare.
I think it’s great that people try to be you for a day. Sometimes I pretend to be normal but it gets boring so I go back to being myself. I’ve put a lot of thought into it and I don’t think being an adult is going to work for me. So the only way I will gladly swap bodies is if it’s with a kid. There’s nothing about being a kind old lady that appeals to me. Everyone comes to me for food and advice, two things I hate sharing above all. Why would I be inclined to give you food just because I’m old and motherly looking? Although if you want bad advice, you can catch me at the pub, I’ll be there all night long dishing it. The worst part is, you were born on a leap year, so I have to wait four years to celebrate my damn birthday?
I could never live in a shoe so I jumped to light speed so I could never be old. A Genie in a bottle, my wish is your command but only once every 4 years. The rest of the time I’m eternal youth, celebrating all year, cuz I’ll always be younger than you. Young at heart, we agree there, but spending too much time in the pub eating grub, surely ages you more than anything else. Just ask your liver. Too many kids and animals so what else was I going to do, so I whine. If I go missing, look for me on a wine bottle. Don’t let my kids know though cuz they’ll drink every bottle and then I’ll never be found. But then maybe that’s not so bad. Dust me off every 4 years and I’ll meet you at the pub but I’m not holding court with a bunch of drunks. I’ll never make it to 29 so I can’t waste my time.
I’ll be honest when I say that this sounds like the best way to live. What is a life worth living if it’s not on the edge? We’re here for a good time not a long time so we have to make the most of every second of the day. If you think nobody cares that you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. If I ever get missing, please follow my kids. They can find me no matter where I try to hide. Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most. As the days draw to a close, I am constantly reminded of the insignificance of my existence. The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. And that’s on period.
We finally agree. No one makes it out alive so we may as well have a good time. A long ride sounds like a road to nowhere. Does anyone even know what day it is anymore? Or should we care?! As for me, I’m living on the back 9 with all of the comfort stations. The grass is always greener, but be careful what you wish for and watch out for the dog poop. Oops… My mama said there were gonna be days like these. We have to milk each moment for what it’s worth and not cry over spilled milk. It’s all mind over matter. If you don’t mind it doesn’t matter. So no worries about losing yours. The cow jumped over the moon, the little dog barked, the pig squealed and the kids ran away with the wine.
Hell……………….? Are you there?
Heaven can wait; What do you say?
I’d say, that was a hella Fun Friday!!!
I do hope you enjoy this collaboration! This is off the beaten path of my usual arena and it was soooo much fun. If you would like to see more of these please let me know and thanks as always for reading, liking (if you do of course), commenting and or sharing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and remember if you don’t like it, the devil made me do it 🔥🤣!!!!