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Unique Times

Where I share my jewels of wisdom of life

person in blue denim jeans standing on brown soil

My heart bleeds buckets 
as I continue to walk the mountains and think of you
I carry 2 buckets  up the hill… 1 for me  and 1 for you

I stop to do what I can 
some ready for the offering
others lost or there for the taking

I continue to walk 
wishing I could do more 
but more is never enough

I carry your blood and then more of mine
I pass a wishing well and throw a penny and a blessing
My longing never stops

While I may appear stoic
it’s true ….
If I stop I would be devoid of life…. so I walk 

I pause to for a glimmer of hope but move on to
who might need a hand. 
Love is sometimes walking away even when your blood bleeds black

Copyright © Cindy Georgakas
All Rights Reserved

I wrote this poem as I was walking up the mountain the other day and thinking about my brother who has lived with schizoid affective disorder for most of his life and is in a psychotic state as I write this. He left his facility and took to the streets last year when Covid started and 4 months later he was able to find housing in a board and care facility with others that suffer from mental illness. He left his next one again on the 4th of July. My heart aches for him and my mother and his adult children; 2 of which have mental health issues as well. One of my nephews is 34 and has lived in a facility for 12 -14 years. My other nephew, 32, lives on the street in Southern California with his mother. Luckily my niece who is the youngest has broken away (kudos to you ) and is working and going to school and left the area but suffers from PTSD.

It is truly heartbreaking to witness and see someone you love live this nightmare and to feel so helpless. I have learned over the years that my own mental health suffers when I get over involved. I have also learned to love from a distance with boundaries which constantly pulls at my heartstrings but is necessary for my well being.

It is particularly difficult being in my field where I help people discover their truths and inner wisdom so I feel particularly helpless. My heart goes out to any of you that suffer from this horrific illness personally or have family members that do. I truly get it and my heart bleeds with yours. Take good care of you, do what you can and know your limits❣️

woman doing hand heart sign
Photo by Hassan OUAJBIR on Pexels.com

Thanks so much for visiting today. The world needs us to take such good care of ourselves that we might be a beacon of hope for others. Loving without judgement or attachment is one of the greatest challenges.

Blessings of love to you and all of those you love and a special prayer of protection for my brother.

Thanks from the bottom of my heart,

💖🙏

Cindy

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macacca
2 years ago

Hello! My sister suffers the same. My parents are lame. I’m 22 and too week to locate her to a place she might have similar people like her. I’m seeking advises.

macacca
Reply to  Cindy Georgakas
2 years ago

It’s really tough. Some past days I was even guilty for laughing around mates.
But now I know, my parents are happier seeing me laugh. Thank you. Take care

Maria A.
2 years ago

Your words bleed just like your heart does! Yes, sometimes walking away is the only way to survive. My prayers and thoughts for you dear Cindy, may your brother be in God’s care. Amen.

khajuriasakshi
2 years ago

This reminded me of my uncle whom I lost in this Covid. That helplessness its something that breaks you. Thanks for writing this.

khajuriasakshi
Reply to  Cindy Georgakas
2 years ago

Thanks for your kind words

Louis Dallara
Louis Dallara
2 years ago

Beyond words, take care of yourself. Sending loving kindness. Lou

marlene ford gf Sesse
marlene ford gf Sesse
2 years ago

Very moving post l can certainly feel your pain because it is the exact story of my son who has had a diagnosis of schizophrenia most of his adult life and it does affect the entire family and friends. I can only imagine the struggle he goes through every waking hour and as much as I love him I can not heal his pain.when he makes poor choices I have to detach with love that is all that will help him in the long run. Knowing that the power of God protects him and watches over him is the only way I can keep my thought right when he is symptomatic.

confessionssillygirl
2 years ago

Very well written , I can feel the emotions .. sometimes its really for our own benefit to just walk away.

abichica
2 years ago

Hugs to you and your family, you have taught me something new today, most of the time society knows very little about mental illness and think even less about how it affects the people around that person who has the illness. The poem is beautiful

bw27677
2 years ago

Wow. I can relate to this poem. Thanks for sharing.

Oluwadamilaretitilope
2 years ago

Good one

Poetpas
Poetpas
2 years ago

Very good, creative and slightly endearing

Poetpas
Poetpas
Reply to  Cindy Georgakas
2 years ago

Welcome 🙏

trackback
1 year ago

[…] & July had 20% more post reads than average.2021: Top posts of the year:Top post was a very vulnerable and heartfelt poem from July 7th..Second most read post is tips you shared on blogging on November 29th.. Third most read post […]

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