You might notice (or not) I’m on a different blogging schedule this week and am only posting twice this week to free up my weekend and spend some well deserved time with my husband since he gets tired of my banging away a the computer in my off time. So even though it’s only Thursday for me, some of you are moving into Friday so Happy Fri-Yay Funday to you all.
I have a special edition here today in honor of my husband and all of you that yearn to be married, are married, have been married, are divorced or confirmed bachelors and bachelorettes. I’m going to warn you, it’s gonna be long so feel free to scroll through.
On Wedded Bliss:
Congratulation you have found Mr or Mrs Right; Right?
Wrong…. well maybe… time will tell.
In the beginning everyone is perfect. Your heart beats out of your chest every-time you’re together and you feel you will explode into ecstasy. You can’t get enough of the lustful bliss and will go to any length to get it. She bats her eyes and you’re putty in her hands. You flex your muscles in just the right way, sending shivers up her spin. Everything about the person is flawless and they can do no wrong. Plans are made for the lavish wedding and spending more money is a hopeful guarantee of how much you love each other and proof that this will last forever (🤣). Unless of course, you were one of the smart ones and had a small Covid wedding, who saved some money. Take note on one of the great lessons Covid taught us…. less is more and smaller is often better. But never mind about that; Life is perfect and you meld into oneness and finally feel fulfilled someone loves and sees you for who you are and you finally feel complete and perfect just the way you are………. until your first fight and then all hell breaks loose, but you quickly learn that the fussing and fighting after making up, makes everything right.
You find out “Ain’t Love Grand”.
At least that’s what my grandmother said when she was cussing out my grandfather.
Ain’t Love Grand:
Today is my 42nd marriage Anniversary. Happy Anniversary Honey❣️
Did you just gasp? So did I, and so did he…. trust me. Only 3-5 % of mammals mate for life, 90 % of birds are monogamous so it shouldn’t surprise you that we all gasped. Ok, except for the few of you that truly can say “he’s my soulmate, forever lover, my one only and we have no issues”. If you have no issues you’re either lying cuz you don’t want to be in the dog house or you married Prince Charming or Cinderella. I just heard a book coming soon called “Prince Charming is Dead or in Rehab” …GREAT TITLE right? And as for Cinderella…. Mmmmuuuuaw…. I have both slippers stashed in my closet to sneak out and dance, otherwise known as footloose and fancy free, not to be confused with being barefoot and pregnant (I’m done with that).
If you’re planning to be married… read the fine print. Or if your parents are looking to marry you off, has it occurred to you, they might be trying to get rid of you? Just kidding of course. Just remember it’s not an antidote for loving yourself. The words you have to love yourself first are not made up… they’re true. You will find your whole life blaming the other person because they mirror all of your insecurities and faults; so remember, your spouse is your best teacher in growing and learning to love yourself but hopefully, you do first. That will make all the difference in the world.
On Holy Matrimony:
It starts as holy matrimony and ends with the holy grail. Love at first site could soon end up being “I can’t stand your sight”. You start out cooking new recipes and sautéing with your new pots and they soon become a weapon in your hand, hitting him over the head with it. Till death do us part, might literally happen as can be seen by a few, just read the headlines. Everything is roses, champagne and chocolate until it turns to thorns, thunderbird and 💩.
But I can’t think of anyone else who would put up with either one of us so there’s that. We always say “I would never get married again” and it sounds so horrible and who knows for sure until you’re there. But when you’ve been together this long you’ve shared a lot, made compromises, gone through the ups and downs, gone round and round, zipped your lip when you just wanted to flip the bird and sometimes you do. You think to yourself “gosh, I would just date the next time around if there is one”. Besides, we all know the statistics show that second marriages end in divorce at about the same rate as 1st ones. Third ones are shockingly almost the same. I’ve always said marry once and if you have to twice. Otherwise, be like Liz Taylor and make it 9 or just make sure they’re rich and famous. Being rich and famous doesn’t make you happy but it does help you pay the bills.
Yes, I’m kidding, I know many with plenty of money and the distraction only lasts for awhile. Tonight we are going out to dinner, just the 2 of us to celebrate this special occasion to a restaurant called Bird Dog. hmmmmm.
Marriage is work, I’m not going to lie but there is a history that no one else knows and if you forget where you live, your partner will most likely say “next door”. Men marry women hoping they will never change and women marry men thinking they can change them. It ain’t gonna happen. Ok, you heard it here. I will say that we can change those things IF we want to change but that’s rare. My 3rd daughter has been dating her boyfriend for 13 years…. they don’t want to rush into anything. 😳
As for my kids waiting and many others these days, it’s a pretty good idea as you figure you only have to deal with being with someone for 20 years max at the rate you’re going, so happily ever after might be in your future.
The Good News of Marriage:
There is no good news. Lol❣️
Yes, of course there’s good news❣️
You can belch at the table instead of saying “fabulous meal”
You can pick your nose at the same time. Please DON’T”
You can use your shirt as a napkin
You always have someone to blame and it’s always his fault of course…hahahaha
Add to the list… have at it.
Benefits of Marriage
Someone to depend on and help you change them as you age
They remember your stories and where you’re from when you forget
They know your history and the crazies in your life and love you anyway
They put up with looking like a wreck of the hesper or
wearing your clothes to bed for those early morning appointments
The Truth About Marriage:
Marriage can be the most intimate and rewarding experience where you learn about who you are, bring your best self forward and bring out your partner’s best self.
It’s a place where you can be exactly who you are with all of your flaws and faults and be loved in spite of them. It has the ability to create a sacred union of shared respect and love with each person growing toward their own truth and mission, each branching out in different directions but remembering the roots you share together, appreciating each others quirks and uniqueness.
It can also be the most destructive institution if you allow that.
The Good Marriage:
The secret of a good marriage is being a good partner.
Give and take, it’s not a one way street.
Be demonstrative and loving toward your spouse.
Surprise each other with little things you know they enjoy.
Be open and honest about how you feel, just make sure you frame it with I messages not You messages of blame. ie: Instead of saying You never do x, y, z…. Say instead; “I feel x when I see the toothpaste cap off”. It’s the little things in marriage that start to bug you like this if you let them.
Acknowledge the other person and compliment them on things you like or appreciate. The problem with most marriages is we become the King and Queen of negative attention which destroys a marriage more than anything. Remember Queens Trump Kings any day. Teasing❣️
Be the partner you want to have.
Never go to bed angry, stay up and fight all night… just kidding. Do kiss when you say good night.
Intimacy and physical touch is important in marriage.
Have a date night weekly and time for each other without distractions.
Don’t compare your marriage with someone else’s.
Appreciate yours and strive to be the best person first to yourself and then to them everyday.
You can take the boy or the girl out of Daly City but you can’t take the Daly City out of them (kinda like marriage….for better or worse XO 💖PICTURES THEN AND NOW: I DID FIT INTO MY WEDDING DRESS ON OUR 40TH SO THERE’S THAT!
Sometime last year Shiavani, I call her Vani from Story time with Vani (do visit her),asked me if I would tell a story about how my husband and I first met and I thought today would be the best day to do it.
It’s pretty personal and you might not care a wink but as promised Vani here goes ( skip it if you’re bored as I’ve droned on quite a bit).
And of course here’s to you my one and only and love of my life:
Westmoor High School in Daly City, California
Where we first met……..
You typed my papers and pulled my tardy passes
The teachers pet
repeating it twice as a senior for the easy A.
I worked my arse off, and you slid by.
Smart and an opportunist
While I always smiled and gave a helping hand.
You played basketball and tennis
And I flailed my arms as a cheerleader and pep girl
We parted ways
who knew if I would see you again
Until that fateful day my mom ran into you and invited you to dinner
I was so upset because I had a boyfriend but there was no denying the sparks between us even though we were just friends.
It wasn’t the fly in the KFC chicken (Mom!) that kept you coming back but the laughter, fun and the heat of desire.
Back to high School for me and on to CSM Junior College (College of Small Minds for you; I went there later too.. hahaha)
Who knew if I would ever see your again.
You were the turtle and I was the hare and had to make the first move for that first kiss or I’d still be waiting.
Your sister joined the cheerleading squad and we became BFF’s
so our relationship rallied here and there
Since we had a few chance sitings.
We both got jobs in the mall; you at Lee’s shoe store and me at McDonald’s Department store so we rekindled our friendship except I still had a boyfriend.
Finally, on New Years Eve we had our first date out and I broke up with my boyfriend. to the tune of Me and Misses Jones. Ouch…. Sorry.
You came to my junior and senior prom and Job’s Daughter dances, our first dinner out at Station 21
and later Charlie Brown’s where I still have that valuable pepper shaker as a memento that I was just “borrowing”.
It’s a wonder you still dated me then when they said a valuable piece was missing from the table and confronted us.
I left for college and we broke up for a stint but somehow managed to get back together after you wrote the one and only letter and poem both to me and my mother.
On to our careers, me dancing, working as a recreational therapist and managing a gym, you a trader at the stock market, playing baseball 4 nights a week and collecting baseball cards.
Together we we bought a house (with your money of course), later built a house.
And finally I drug you to the altar …hahhaha.
4 kids later, umpteen animals, coaching, teaching Sunday school, racing here and there, it was a zoo but I wouldn’t trade a day of it.
We are so blessed to have our life, children, parents and good friends we love and adore too.
Different as night and day you and me always trying to keep score.
We are honest and stubborn and things can get loud as we argue about nothing, the next minute we can be laughing and reminiscing.
You love the T.V. blaring with games and I like peace and solitude but we both like to eat and you tolerate hiking with me even after walking 18 holes on the golf course.
You are my rock as I venture off to new things in my work and my spiritual journey and anchor me and let’s face it; who would you be without me. Hahahaha
You’re thoughtful and kind, always ready to help even if you hem and haw.
You’ve seen me at my best and my worst and have loved me anyway.
I truly am who I am because of your love and support.
You’re the best husband and father I could have ever asked for to raise our 4 children
and although we don’t always see eye to eye for the most part, we have been a united front and you deferred to me. Smart man. Hahaha.
You are the best thing that could have happened to me.
Thank you for your love and devotion, your integrity and loving me when I’m unlovable.
Home is where my heart is and even though we argue and fight, you have my back and I have yours.
Love is truly about seeing the other person with all of their faults and weaknesses and loving them anyway. Saying I’m sorry which I admit you do more than me (that’s the way it should be. 🤣 Hey, I’m working on it….. by the time I get it, one of us will be dead.
Love is being your honest true self and trying to show up for the other person so they can be there’s.
It’s saying I love you, how was your day, it’s sharing the last bite of chocolate and red wine, even when you want to polish it off and be greedy.
Happy 42nd Anniversary to the love of my life. The best friend I ever have had. Thank you for sharing your life with me.
Here’s to many more.
I Love you❣️
AND HERE’S TO OUR SONG… ME AND MRS. JONES….
Thanks to all of you for visiting today and sharing in our personal love story Anniversary. Have a wonderful rest of the week. Tell someone you love them, give yourself some love and stay bright. Be the partner you want to have in every relationship in your life. Dump the baggage and weed your friend garden.
Until next week, Stay Blessed!❣️