Unique Times

Fun Friday, the joy, pain & sorrow.
Rise and shine buttercup.
It’s not a dress rehearsal, this life.
Dare to be brave, tip toe through the garden.
Ask and you’ll receive: Take each moment as you please.
Yesterdays over, tomorrow might not come, celebrate today!

Today is my Father In Laws 97th birthday. I don’t know about you, but if someone said to me, you will live until 97, I’d sign on the dotted line. There have been times, I hoped I’d just make it through another day during my most challenging times in life but now, I want to live forever. Ha!

It’s a great gift that he has lived such a vibrant life and a great sorrow to watch him suffer. To truly know joy, we must know suffering and to support someone in hard times, it’s often helpful if we have been there. That’s why most of the time when someone is giving birth, you want a woman in the room with you that knows and can look you in the eyes and say, “it’s ok, now push”. Men generally mean well, but fall short because they just want to fix things for you, so you don’t suffer. But when we don’t let things run their course, we miss out on some of the most invaluable gifts. When I’ve attended births, I’m often there for the men as much as for the woman.

So why am I bringing up birth on a birthday? Bare with me, I’m still sorting it out. It’s Fun Friday I know and I try to put the Yay in the day, but I’m feeling rather melancholy today. Maybe it’s that I’m realizing time is short for many of my parents, maybe it’s all of the bad news and I’ve tuned in more than I should. But it has seeped through my skin. I do focus on the amazing miracles coming out of the rubble but still, there is more sorrow than joy there as we know, right now. I am blessed I know, that but today, I am sad. Most likely, it’s about facing my own mortality.

We looked at a new facility, Gordon Manor, that will take my Father In Law and I’m delighted he will be right down the road from us, so we can see him more. It is a lovely place that many of my friends parents and clients spouses have gone, which feels just like home. There is even a Golden Retriever Gordon, named after the facility, Gordon Manor.

While on the tour, I remembered back to working in convalescent homes and the smell that eventually forced me out. I may have mentioned before that I was a Recreational Therapist and did all of the group ex and individual workouts with people. When someone died, they would put them in my office and between the smell and the dead bodies in my room, I left and got into the wellness part of the business.

I was struck by how much fun people were having in the group with a singer there entertaining them. Gordon was walking around as the greeter and his docile behavior at just 1 year old was surreal to me. I could have sworn he was at least 9. Most of the people I saw were wheelchair bound, but some walked by with their Valentine’s Day ears on they had just made in art class and couldn’t have been more delighted. It was sweet and tender. We walked outside and visited the chickens, a magnificent garden and fruit trees, where the birds were singing.

Before we left, we visited his possible room, where the daughter of a woman who just died the day before, was moving out and chatted with her for quite a long while. I asked if we could buy the chair and bed from her and she offered to give it to us. We all had masks on but when we were leaving, we exchanged names and it turned out my husband does her insurance. It was a love fest and they had never met before and hugged etc. She left with flowers and we were going to move his Dad into this very room, if he was accepted. How serendipitous is this! There are no accidents in life, when you stay open to possibility.

So now I know why I brought up birth on a birthday and rounding the corner of your life. Visiting the facility, reminded me of preschool and the cute faces full of hope, joy, anticipation, excitement, fear, etc. We are all moving to the next classroom of our lives and in so many ways, they are similar to how we started our journey. We will hopefully have someone loving and caring to usher us in and usher us out. Life is our playground and we continually get to choose how we will show up. We can go kicking and fighting or surrender to our next chapter.

Tonight we are going to take him on his first outing in almost 3 months and wheel him to a restaurant, next to the rehab facility he is in. I bought crowns and will put pictures on it, bought him a tin can with a straw so he can sip his vodka (shhhhh, don’t tell anyone), poppers and a cake and my sister in law and brother in law will join us. He was evaluated and accepted yesterday, which he doesn’t know about yet, so we’ll print pictures of the facility. He will be sad to leave his retirement home where he was an ambassador and so well loved.

It’s the moments that count. I know some of you suffer in silence, others are battling for your life, our world has had such tragedy. The killings in the U.S. and our home towns are surreal. Still others of you suffer from depression, mental health issues etc. Life isn’t for the faint of heart but, it’s the only life we have.

Love yourself with all of the fragilities, fears, upsets, tears and turn it over to a higher power or nature if you will. Nature is one of our biggest healers. I’ve been behind in catching up with your posts and when I’m behind I don’t write as often so bare with me while I catch up. We are also, moving him out of his place which takes time.

I’m so delighted my book is now in the hands of my editor, Ingrid Wilson, at EFI so most likely, she’ll have me busy and I may not be able to post as much on the account of that either.

Have a beautiful day through the joy and sorrow of whatever you are facing.

I’m heading out to my biggest teacher and healer right now for a walk in nature.

Blessings of Love,

💗

Cindy

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