Hi My Blog Friends,
I’m back in one piece, well kinda and celebrating I made it through the yoga retreat with LOTS of insights and opportunities for reflection and growth. I can’t wait to tell you the title of my book. Can you guess?
While I missed you all, I got time with myself and came up against my soft and hard edges, wrote in my tiny little blue journal with ink to paper and only pulled out my computer to write my book. I reestablished a schedule, was up at the crack of dawn before the birds and sun and at my favorite table at the beach to watch it rise, before anyone else. That was heaven and so were the 4 meals that arrived buffet style everyday! The diverse group of 18 woman and 1 man (he came with his wife), our lovely instructor, Carrie and the animals swimming daily visiting without having to clean up after them or feed them, made my heart happy. And guess what? No one died when I got back and they all lived fine without me… imagine that. 😂👏 It is touch and go around here however, as you know.
It sounds like a 10 star trip right? Well it was and it wasn’t.
It was because I had opportunities to come up against all of my broken parts and show up as all of me which meant at times I was in such physical pain and had to adapt to these grinding hips, realizing I’m aging… what a surprise.. it kinda is, since I feel like 16 ha. I had to let go of the teacher and surrender to what was and bring all of my parts with me and show up in my honest truth. (no one would hire me at home if they saw me there in all my raw authenticity).
I stand before you broken,
sobbing at what was,
bringing all of me,
facing what is.
This body once flowing through space,
grinds gears facing each step.
Tears turn to sobs ,
muscles taunt, bones turn brittle, joints crunch
creating an ocean of turquose–blue,
to match my ever changing mood.
. Carrie our teacher from Breath of Oneness in Santa Cruz, California
Have you guessed the title of my book yet?
I got emotional when my teacher training mala bracelet broke on the matt and memories of the training came flooding back.
Mala beads break; like me
My mala bracelet breaks like my bones while I bow to the earth.
My heart splits in two,
rescuing every yogini bead and frayed string,
that once held me together.
I bring each one to my nose smelling the sandalwood.
My fingers remember your touch and care of my soul.
These torturous twists like my colon contort,
leave me in a pretzel where I break, not all at once but slowly,
trying to save you.
Desperately, I pick each one up and throw them in my pouch,
trying to save me now.
My rescuing days are over,
as I move into acceptance of all
and all that is
and is yet to be.
We swam in the Cenotes which are natural swimming holes or swimming caves in Mexico. They’re formed by the collapse of porous limestone bedrock. When the rock falls it reveals a secret subterranean world of groundwater pools!are unique to Mexico which are fresh water bodies underground and mostly found in caves which were so refreshing.
My toe burst with blood when I walked up a step to the bathroom and hit a hard sharp edge on the step and it looked like a crime scene, my friend broke her toe the day before which was so wild. The next day, I walked down to the beach at 5:30 a.m. with my computer in my backpack to write with a flashlight and coffee and I missed a step and yes, (I’m so embarrassed to tell you, I fell AGAIN and on my right knee, ugh. I could go on and on, as everyday was a window of opportunity to grow or wither… I always choose growth.
All 18 of us went to Temazcal sweat lodge for a ceremony of renewal and release, cleansing toxins, releasing old wounds, letting go of the past and setting intentions, chanted, proclaimed our freedom for our next steps. When we finished, it thunder and lightening struck like I’ve never seen before lighting up the sky in all it’s glory, as we each walked out in our bathing suits and let the rain wash off the manduka honey that we had rubbed all over our bodies for healing.
Sweat beads at my brow,
drips down my face,
I sweat it all!
Individually and collectively,
we create the ocean
to float us through the insurmountable.
We’ve go this,
as we re-enter,
touched by the Temescal and thunder and lightening show,
Our sweat that connects us,
forever changed by the “sweat-ness”
Of us all,
embraced by the Manduka honey and sweet Maria and Luis.
Who held us all.
Just when you thought we couldn’t have any more ceremonies, we had 2 Spring Equinox Renewal ceremonies at the beach, a mayian clay wrap ceremony at the beach to release any fears left which were beautiful and rich.
Our last night ended with a Cacao ceremony drinking the elixer of chocolate basically, where we laid down on yoga matts while the leaders played music, rang singing bowls, rattles and other indigenous instruments, rubbing our head with essential oils and and placing stones on our chest for opening a renewal. Most fell asleep and rested restoring and releasing anything still lurking.
I struggled to get comfortable during this ceremony and my sacrum ached as I turned on each side, only to find another bone aching and it suddenly occurred to me, we had been doing yoga 2 times a day on concrete. The 3 body work sessions I received were wonderful at the time but I came home with the worst sciatica of my life and I don’t get nerve pain in my gluts and my legs. And to think I passed on most activities!
My only fear I had left when I left was having to do another activity. 😅 I have been doing my Cinsage Yoga ever since. That was my yoga name from my teacher training and I rather love it because it could be Joesage, Debsage, Carriesage (you get the idea, your name and sage because WE are each the sages of our bodies!
Thanks to my friend Deb, Debra, Debbiesage and my new soul-sage sisters of heart and soul.
Oh my book…. Have you guessed what the title is yet? 😂😂😂 Sorry, I know I said I would share it with you today but I got carried away but promise, it’s coming.
I’ll be back Monday with a short post and maybe a short Cinsage work out because after all it’s Monday which means it’s Move It Monday after all. How did this happen so fast?!
Have a great weekending and Have a Fun Fri-Yay until we meet again! Remember your body, your way always as you are the sage! Leave your guesses here if you care to take a stab at my book title.
P.S. Amansala in Tulum Mexico is a great spot for retreat and spa services if you don’t mind the 4 hour travel to Cancun and 2 hours to the resort after. When I first met Carrie our yoga instructor, she asked how our flight was and I said “Mexico is Never a Good Idea”. This is one of those foot in mouth moments you wish you could retract as soon as you say it, but after all of our travel escapades of getting there, it’s what came out. Luckily, she’s trained to let things roll off her back and not take things personally. While a beautiful spot, Tulum is far, has changed a lot since I was there 30 plus years ago and one of the priciest places.
With all of this said it was a magical experience to be at Chichén Itzá during the spring equinox so masterfully executed by Carrie to pay homage to the Mayan Calendar and celebrate the history and myth of this beautiful land. The Maya name “Chichen Itza” means “At the mouth of the well of the Itza.” This derives from chi’, meaning “mouth” or “edge”, and chʼen or chʼeʼen, meaning “well”. Itzá is the name of an ethnic-lineage group that gained political and economic dominance of the northern peninsula. Please see Sheila’s post for a wonderful article of the gifts of this magical spot on her post today.
The owner and the staff couldn’t have been more accommodating and friendly and each one felt like family (in a good way.. haha) by the end. One even gifted me with a box of Copal incense made in Mexico when I left. I have about 3 that will hopefully be visiting or I them and Paul, one of my waiters from France, will be my tour guide when I finally make it to visit Venice.
P.S.S. Here was my dinner companion that looked like my Star (only she’s cuter) and my new dog with hair not fur, I will get when we get one which won’t be for a long time.
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