Wise Wednesday Video or Put a Sock in it?

Put a sock in it

It’s wise to apologize

Acceptance is key
Cindy Georgakas

Happy Wise Wednesday or put a sock in it? We’ve all said something we wish we hadn’t as one point in time. The question is what do you do as an author of a book? Should you say your truth, get permission, skip it all together or write a novel with characters to hide behind your words so know one knows who are talking about?

It’s a fair question and one that is important to ask yourself when you are writing a book, a blog post or just sharing something in general. A few things to think about and I highly recommend.

When you are writing a teaching memoir if becomes a little more difficult since you are sharing parts of your own story to help your reader look at their own lives as well.

First off, I highly recommend you let others know that you are including them in your material and get their buy in BEFORE you talk about them in your book. I thought I had done just that but apparently I wasn’t clear enough or at least they didn’t think so.

Here’s a quick list of what I recommend:

Make sure you get permission from people you will be writing about in your book.
Have the hard conversation before your book goes out and perhaps read them exactly what you are going to say before it goes to print.
If they are caught by surprise: Apologize for anything that you said that they were upset about. Even if your intentions were pure going back and cleaning things up is important.
Have a conversation with them about what happened. Continue having conversations until both of you find resolution. Take care of yourself in the process. Give them time and yourself time to process until you are ready to talk again. Writing a note of apology is sometimes another useful tool. This may take several conversations.

How do you stay authentic to your own writing if you have to be so careful about what you say? Do you say it anyway and take the risk? What are your intentions in saying something? These are all important questions to aak yourself while you are writing your book. You may decide like I did, to include them in your book anyway. When you have to be so careful, you run the risk of being inauthentic and leaving out your feelings behind your words which is vital to share your story in the most authentic way possible. Your heart behind your words is important in allowing your reader into your life and hearing your message.

In my particular case, it was my Dad that was offended and he was very upset with me. The last thing I would want to do is to hurt anyone. He didn’t mince words and said my words were “stupid” when I used the word ego about his family whom I love and have been very close with. His sister, my aunt and uncle were the very place I found solace and well being with on our annual trips growing up, for which I am eternally grateful. What I said was in no means a reflection of what he did or didn’t do but rather how it affected me. I found it particularly fascinating that the very word he was angry about me using (ego) was all about protecting his own ego and he never gave credence to any of my struggles and internal suffering that I hid my whole life. It made for an inroad of conversation and more understanding as we have continued to peel back the layers as uncomfortable as its been for both of us.

I bring it up here because I think many people who might like to write a book stop themselves because of their fear of hurting others. It is a very real fear and I was very mindful in the best way I knew how to be since that wasn’t my intention. We can’t control what other people will think even with the best of intentions. We also have a responsibility to ourselves and others to do it as lovingly as we possibly can.

It’s really important to see how you might feel and how important it is to get your message out in the world at the risk of someone you love being angry with you. In my case, my intention in writing RE-CREATE & CELEBRATE 7 Steps To Turn Your Dreams Into Reality was that if I could help one person, it would be worth it. That is the affect that my book is having and for that I am eternally grateful and I would do it all over again. Perhaps I would have read the exact choice of words I would use in my book ahead of time or changed them if I could go back.

I can’t go back at this point but I can say I’m so sorry that I hurt your feelings which was never my intention. I love you and I do not blame you for anything. Again if you read all of the nice things I said about your in my book you will see that I am stronger, older and wiser because of what I’ve gone through in my life. I love you!