Reminding you that when darkness comes, leaves fall and all is cold and barren, you can reach inside for respite and light. It’s always thereeven in our darkest hour. You may be knocked to your knees, seething in anger and fear which is understandable. When the candle is ignited and you blow it out, bring it inside to illuminate your soul while you remember the burst of color from fall.
Have a blessed Dayas we stand tall in fall!
Thanks so much for reading and please like ( if you do of course), comment and or share.
I am so honored that Kally from MiddleMe invited me to interview on her blog. Kally comes from a corporate background, and is a online entrepreneur. She does a mirage of various projects and assisting start-ups and is a writer and a recruiter, coaching freelancers.
I hope you enjoy the interview……
One of the reasons that MiddleMe is such an awesome platform is due to the interaction we get from the diverse audience all over the world. I love that I have readers from Singapore to India all the way to the United Kingdom and United States. From retirees dishing out precious wisdom to essential staff sharing their stories with us.
Today, we have the Founder of Uniquely Fit, Cindy Georgakas with more than 35 years of health and wellness experiences, serving others with a passionate goal in mind – to help other people to find inner peace and healthy living, come and share her thoughts and experiences with us.
Hi Cindy, over in MiddleMe, we are all about having passion in what we do and helping others. We are honored to have you today to talk about your work and passion. Please introduce yourself and Uniquely Fit.
Thank you so much, Kally, for inviting me to interview with you. I follow your site regularly and find it very informative with such heartfelt passionate messages for humanity.
I was born in San Francisco, California and grew up in Daly City and I kept migrating south for warmer weather after college. I live in an incredible rural community in Woodside, Ca. about 40 minutes south of S.F. with just over 6,000 people with beautiful mountains to hike and beaches to visit which I love and keep me fit. I’m happily married with 4 children, 4 furry family members, 2 horses on our property and 5 ageing parents who are local.
Uniquely Fit was born out of my passion for fitness with the premise that every person is unique and different and each individual’s needs must be honored. The business has expanded and grown over the years offering more services and now with Covid reinventing itself yet again, with Zoom One on One sessions, group classes, outdoor sessions and I’m more active on blogging.
I modelled my studio after Jane Fonda’s aerobic studio she opened in 1982 in S.F. and I opened mine in San Mateo California within weeks of her opening hers when I was 26 years old. It was such an exciting time in my life building from the ground up and training staff.
At the time we had low and high impact, aerobic classes, with small free weights.
I also taught pre and postnatal exercise, birth coaching and baby massage with one massage therapist on staff. We had 15 instructors and 20 classes a week.
We have now expanded into having 4 massage therapists, yoga classes, No Guts No Glory (boot camp), personal training, Life Coaching, Craniosacral Therapy and we have a Nutritional Consultant on staff.
What made me want to set up Uniquely Fit? What is your mission behind Uniquely Fit?
With a major in Recreational Therapy, I started in convalescent hospitals where I felt I had very little actual control in helping people. I would go to work and come back in the morning to someone I worked with the day before, in my office (dead… yes you heard it right). Somehow they got put in my office as a holding spot.
After a few times of that, it was too heartbreaking for me because I grew to love each person I worked with. I decided to move into the wellness side of health and worked and managed different health facilities and taught workshops. After a few years, I decided to go off on my own and “do it my way”.
My mission is for each person to find their passion in their lives through movement, finding exactly what feeds them physically, emotionally and spiritually. I also struggled with my weight and one time went from 115 to 160 lbs in 6 months so I had a lot to teach with that experience.
How do you feel when you have successfully helped others?
I feel awesome! There is so much fulfilment when someone I work with reaches their objective because I know how much they have put into it to get there. It also motivates me to keep walking my talk because you can only help people if you truly live the process. My clients become my biggest inspiration!
What does inner peace mean to you?
It means accepting myself for who I am and relaxing into the present moment and connecting to the Spirit, God, Buddha within or whatever it is for you, where all is well.
Can everyone find inner peace in the end?
Peace is a state of mind and it is much easier when our basic needs of security are met but it is achievable and attainable in every moment if we can stop and quiet our mind, and allow it to fill our souls. It is NOT always easy but nothing worth having is. It takes patience, practice and practice, you must.
I try to help people achieve one goal a week with very small increments and when they master that add another. Meditation, breathing, music, journaling, walking, Yoga, Qigong are all modalities that help foster inner peace.
I have noticed that you have many skills like Occupational and Recreational Therapy among many others. What pushes you to pick up new skills and improve yourself?
I found out early on that O.T. was very tedious and the repetitiveness of the work wasn’t full filling so I moved forward into what was more satisfying to me.
As long as we are alive we are growing. There are times that my clients call me into new things out of the blue. I never would have taught a spin class or started massage if one of my clients didn’t “twist my arm”. Of course, they always make it an offer I can’t refuse. If there is a client that is struggling, I continue to access what is needed and will take other classes or certifications to find the best modalities to help them.
That is how I started doing Craniosacral Therapy and Music as Medicine. Other times, it is just a calling and I trust it and go with it. It has never steered me wrong. Other times I refer out.
What kind of challenges excite you?
There is usually an instinct or aha when I know it is something I want to pursue and usually there is a bit of fear when I think of it. My mind says, “oh forget about it” and I so wish it would go away but when it doesn’t, I have learned to trust it. This reminds me recently of taking the mules down the Grand Canyon.
First of all, I’m scared of heights so what part of me was crazy enough to want to do that I asked. I DON’T, I answered and I remind myself it’s ok to change my mind. But it kept persisting so I researched it a lot and I was so hoping I would change my mind but it wouldn’t go away and one thing I’ve learned is I have to follow that voice. I took me and my fear and gave it over to the donkey. It turned out to be exhilarating and so beautiful and I would have missed a lot by foot. I have a sign in my office that says If your Dreams don’t scare you, they’re not big enough.
I’ve just started writing a book and it’s the same calling here and I keep thinking just forget about it while I continue typing.
What does being passionate mean to you?
It means having a purpose that I am excited to work on that brings me joy, exhilaration and meaning and sharing that with the world.
Do you think it is important to have passion for your job? Why?
I do because it doesn’t feel like work then. It feels like an extension of your mission and purpose in life. I love what I do but with that said after 6 -8 clients in a day, it is still something I need a break from.
The gift of a little more time right now is that I can explore other things I love as well. I see clients from as young as teenagers to 100. My soon to be 90-year-old client does a 5-minute plank, and is working on Zoom on an architectural project at the Historical Museum of Art in San Mateo. He still drives to come to see me and if this isn’t passion, I don’t know what is.
What advice would you give to someone who says they can’t find passion in their work?
I would say perhaps it’s time to look at what really would feed them in their job. Reinventing yourself is really important in life and it’s NEVER too late to start over. Sometimes it’s not the job that is the problem but the way they hold it. That is when I would do a one on one session with them to discover their passions.
You do offer Life Coaching as a part of your services. Can you please elaborate on what is life coaching?
I do and it is one of the highlights of my career. I was trained by the best in 1979 by Cherie Carter Scott, Mother of Life Coaching from Motivational Management Services. She recently produced a movie called “The Workshop” which can be seen on Netflix.
Have you ever had a question that keeps rattling around in your head and you never can get resolution on it? That is the perfect time to get a session. It can be as little or big as you can imagine. It could be deciding on how to let go of anger, moving, finding a new career path etc.
I was trained to use a Socratic approach and ask questions so people can access their own answers. The answers are always inside and it is my job to ask the right questions so someone can access them.
What is the difference between a life coach, a counsellor and a psychiatrist?
The difference is we have a very specific set of guideline in a life coaching session which can be broken down like this:
Objective: What do you want from this session?
Desire and willingness to get clear on it.
Exploring Feelings and fears.
Releasing what is in the way of getting what you want.
Making a plan of action.
Checking in to keep you on track.
Counselors have a good listening ear and usually offer much more evaluation and input.
A psychiatrist can dispense medicine and is usually much less available for exploration and implementation. They are great with finding imbalances in the system and prescribing medication when needed and often work with a psychopharmacist, who is a specialist in choosing medications.
All modalities can work independently or in conjunction with each other.
How is your business surviving during this pandemic? What changes did you make to accommodate the safety regulations?
It’s doing well with some gaps and it is slowly returning to more in-person visits with 6 ft distance and masks etc.
We take everyone’s temperature before starting with a handheld device to the forehead, sanitize everyone, have long wait times in between clients and different outdoor spaces to work in. We have sanitizing products, gloves and wipes available and hand washing is a must. Everything is left outside 2 days and then brought in and is wiped down. I am doing one on one sessions on Zoom as well.
People are adapting to the new normal and finding ways to soothe their bodies without actual touch but with substitutes such as foam rollers, balls etc as I direct them. Life Coaching as you can imagine is really needed right now with the constant changes and fear rightfully and that is being instilled. This gives them their power back.
Any tips for small businesses to survive during this time?
Be consistent and keep the ball going. Never before have I been so grateful to have so many platforms available to do my work and to shift into. I continue to put out my monthly newsletter and I suggest you keep as many systems in place as possible so you don’t fall behind and are ready to go as things shift; BECAUSE THEY WILL!
After my 2nd child, I brought my business home and ran pre and postnatal classes and baby massage out of my house and decided to semi-retire. Not long after that my husband’s business came to a crashing halt with the stock market crash and close. In one month I picked up the pieces and built my business back up to being booked with a waiting list and built a staff and made lemonade out of lemons. That was 25 years ago, and if I can do it, so can you. This is the silver lining when change hits you in the face. It’s the getting up that matters, not the falling down. That is life.
So, try things on for size, when doors close, remember windows will open. There are 9 NO’s to every Yes, so be resilient, don’t give up and don’t take it personally. Remember what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
Once again, thank you for taking time in sharing your experiences and tips with us.
You are so welcome Kally. It was lots of fun and my pleasure and I do hope it has been useful for your readers.
Please feel free to reach out if I missed anything and Stay Strong and keep the faith everyone.
Our mind can be our worst enemy or our best friend. What if we gave this monkey mind a name and had a little fun with him to find magic in our day and sent him on his way? Cindy~
It’s Fun Fri-Yay and we were given an assignment from my writing workshop to go on a walk and find magical clues to keep us inspired to write. I was discouraged on my walk yesterday and then came home and pondered my thoughts, feeling uncertain if I actually have a book inside of me to write or not. So, here is a synopsis which was really FUN for me to write. It’s out of the realm of what I do and turned into a little short story which caught me by surprise. I don’t write stories… Well, I usually don’t anyway, but like all of us, I keep finding new ways to express myself. Hope you like it as much as I enjoyed writing it as words popped on the page. Don’t you love when that happens?!!!!
I walk everyday and it’s often when I get little pearls of wisdom that I write down as they come to me on my phone in notes.
But today with this assignment, notebook in hand, I took the task to heart. I always follow instructions to a T being the good student that I am, and I was excited to find magic. I kept looking for clues, on the ground, in the sky, in a tree and all I found was this monkey staring down at me.
I tried to have a little conversation with him, but that was of no use, so I invited him for a walk to help me look for my hidden treasure. I even took a new route and thought surely this would steer me in the right direction of my message, only to walk into a barricade of trucks and construction.
Hmmmm, I thought, “is this my message”? “Just like at the book store, coming up empty, I’m stopped in my tracks yet again”. “Maybe you’re not supposed to write” said the monkey? “Well, maybe you’re right”, I replied” but what if I am”? Now he was jumping on both of my shoulders, swinging off my arms and messing with my hair; At which point I gave him a name.
“Well, Mr. Abu” I responded “What if I stopped looking for this so called message, listening to you, and thinking so much and just shut the F up and walked”? I walk with purpose and always multi task trying to kill 2 birds with one stone, (in this case the monkey and homework) which is when I realized, I make everything work. Aha, I took note, I have now made my writing a job too, which is the kiss of death for me. So, I stopped; took notes, looked at the beauty around me and said goodbye and thanked Mr. Abu. We parted ways since I no longer needed him to be driving the cart of my mind. What if I shelved the idea of having to write for anyone but me, just because I like it? What if I bagged the idea of winning a contest because you see, if you give me a banana like winning a contest, I will climb to the top of that banana tree in no time, and abandon myself in the process. I need to win at all costs and then I lose me.
So maybe the synchronicity was ditching Mr. Abu and choosing me and there in lies my story of my magical walk. And now if you will kindly excuse me, I’m heading out for a walk with my notebook and banana.
Hope you have a Fun Fri-Yay and a great weekend!
P.S. Please note my Site is underconstruction and I’m trying things on until I get them right.
Thanks so much for taking time to read this, like (if you do of course), Comment and or share. It means a lot to me and I thank you kindly.
“The only way out is through” (Robert Frost) So don’t give up, you’re almost there. It takes as long as it takes.
If you are going through Hell Keep going.
Life is It’s not a panacea of perfect days or a bed of roses.
The waters can be rough and we get tumbled and scratched by thorns picking roses or blackberries, trying to taste the sweetness of the moment and days gone by.
If you have ever struggled with anxiety, depression, or any array of mental health dis-eases, an injury or medical condition; rest assured you are not alone. Covid can heighten and illuminate your struggles with any one of the above, in these surreal times.
If you’re going through hell keep going and reach out to someone to support you.
When life hands you lemons and believe you me, it will; Are you going to pucker up butter cup and give me a kiss (better not in Covid or I might push you.. ha) or are you going to make the most of it? Just add some agave or jaggery, a substitute I recently heard about. Stevia will do and yes, sugar is ok too, and make the most of it. A little sweetness always helps in a bad patch unless you’re a sugar addict of course.
If you have ever stubbed your toe or baby finger then you know exactly what I mean. You never knew a tiny toe could give you so much pain until you stub it. Or have you ever slept in bed with a mosquito?
Worse yet, have you suffered a major surgery or gone through an accident or perhaps the worst depression you have ever gone through in your life?
Everyone’s hell is their own and yet everyone wants to compare there’s with their friends and some might not even understand how this could be so bad. Others feel guilty for it seemingly being so small of an issue and yet, it is putting them through so much purgatory; it’s their truth.
Hell is Hell ok, and it doesn’t matter what anyone else is going through.
This is precisely why I believe in heaven on earth or hell on earth.
There is no there. The devil is standing at your door and it’s up to you if you open it or not. If you choose to, take it’s little horns and embrace them and give it a name so you can let go of this little or big devil.
What you say to yourself matters.
Beating yourself up for having the feelings will keep them omniopressant.
So what to Do, when the devil is knocking on your door?
Give it a face so you can look it in the eye and tell it to leave and take your power back.
2. Lock it up and tell it you are sick and tired of this place.
3. Call someone and have a little chat.
4. Go for a walk and bring a leash and you can walk it right out of you or with it at your side. Soon you’ll make peace with this annoying monster. After all, the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know.
5. Drown the bastard!!! Just blame it on the devil. Hey, the devil made you do it.
This will end and it is up to you to take good care of yourself daily and ride it out. Nothing lasts forever.
The best thing I have found when I’m going through hell is to:
Stop beating myself up.
Do affirmations in the morning and evening everyday.
Trust the process.
Love yourself no matter what.
Get support and reach out!
Hell!!!! It with come and it will go but heaven is a place I want to spend more time, what about you? So make sure you are with people that can remind you “this too shall pass” encourage you and love you through it.
Please remember that we all go through these same hellish times and you are not alone. Thanks so much for reading. I know this is a tough time for people and I truly empathize.
Please remember to like (if you do of course), comment and or share. I truly appreciate your support.
Last week I wrote about Miquel Ruiz’s Book on the 4 Agreements If you recall. You can always go back to my post and read it or even google it if you are interested. It’s a short book with lots of pearls of wisdom.
You might remember that there was some tension between my Dad and I when he was evacuted and stayed with us for the week.
The truth is it brought me back to being 10 years old and feelings I had thought I had resolved long ago came front and center, smacking me in the face and took me to that wounded little girl. I do NOT like those feelings trust me and the part that really bothered me was catapulted back in time like a ship lost at sea. I’m also working on a teaching memoir which shattered all of my ideas that I had some knowledge to impart.
The main thing was, that he was safe, he was able to create a relationship with my kids in a deeper way and we shared moments that we missed out on when I was a kid, since my parents divorced when I was 13. That was a gift and we had some wonderful moments. My 90 year old client stayed after a session with me and had coffee with my Dad on the deck and as it turned out they lived on the same street, Washington Street, in San Francisco but on opposite sides of each other. My client on the wealthy side and my Dad the other where they tried to make ends meet. They both played tennis and recounted story after story of mutual friends, tennis players, pros, places etc. It turned out my client went to the same high school as my Aunt, my Dad’s sister, and were only a year a part.
My mom dropped by and they always pick up where they left off without a missed beat talking and laughing about the past and the future of my brother who has mental health issues.
The elephant continued to be in the room and while I know my Dad would have side stepped the whole issue as most men do, I can never let bygones be bygones until I put them to rest. I really didn’t want to spend the time rehashing old issues etc. but I couldn’t sit any more in this fake sense of normalcy which was all too familiar growing up. Finally, I said “Dad, let’s talk about what happened the other night”. In true fashion he said “Oh, that’s over”, (it was about being disappointed in me for not hearing the phone ring and answering right away) if you recall. I said “Dad, it’s important that I understand where you were coming from, because it’s not over for me”. The first 10 minutes were spent trying to avoid the subject which was the usual denial I was so familiar with growing up, yet seething inside because things were swept under the rug.
Finally, after much digging and pinning him down it turns out he ASSUMED I was avoiding him and didn’t pick up the phone. I didn’t hear the phone and called him as soon as I could. Of course, I was avoiding him to burn in the fire. LORD have mercy. Ha ha! The next problem was, I took it personally as though I had done something wrong and couldn’t stand his disapproval. Look how quickly a small incident gets blown out of proportion when we assume and take things personally.
As soon as we got this sorted through, we were able to clean up the mess we created and let it go. Feelings I thought were once healed opened like a flood gate inside and I was a babbling brook, uncontrollable as he sat not quite knowing what had just happened. Wounds reopened and were cleansed deeper which is often what happens when an old trigger comes up. This surprised me as much as it did him. He sat most likely thinking his daughter was now going crazy too but when things are pushed down they can either errupt or create seething and unresolved emotions that show up in a mirage of other ways. I told him things he never knew about me and he appologized for not being there for me growing up.
We had an opportunity to clear things up and move on. This is definitly a longer chapter and maybe that book will have some meaning but the main message I want to impart is that it’s important to remember how assuming and taking things personally can separate and divide and the sooner you realize that, the sooner you will be able to move on. But they are just words unless you actually put them in action.
We can’t go around every moment doing what I just did…hell, we’d never make it through a day… ha ha! But we can go back later and clean things up, let go and move on.
Thank you for reading and I do hope it was helpful for you in some way or another.
Please like ( if you do of course), comment and or share. So much appreciation.
Sitting in the unknown often creates internal tension and suffering . It is also where the universe has another plan, so surrender to what is and turn it over to a higher power. Copywrite Cindy Georgakas 8/26/20
This is easier said than done but always our path to freedom. Besides, it’s going to be what it is and all the angst, fret and worry won’t change anything but your internal terrain. So ride it out and keep your mind on your mantra while you move through the rivers of your soul.
What is your mantra today?
Mine is Just Breathe.
The world can drop from under your feet, smoke can cloud your vision and take your material goods but if you are still standing we are alive this moment in all it’s glory and destruction. It is a call to open your heart and let it flow like a river while you float in the wide open spaces of your world and mind.
Hold yourself tenderly and lightly as you move through your day.
Blessings of Love and Light,
P.S. The fires are 17 % contained today, the internal tempuratures are cooled down and we are moving to the other side of our differneces with many sacred moments. This picture was taken at Coyotee Creek Golf Course by my husband.
As always like (if you do of course), comment and or share. I’m very grateful for you reading.
Wisdom is optional, Aging is not. To be wise you must remain open minded, learn and grow especially as things become more challenging. Staying rigid in belief and thought are reflected in the body. copyright Cindy Georgakas2020
How do we continue to grow in wisdom as we age, especially now in the pandemic with our new normal in place? It makes one question the constructs you have put in place for yourself in life and if you have prepared yourself for the unexpected. Are you able to shift gears and live in what is verses what was, trying to get back to normal as you go about your day that you are not open to the moment?
We all deal with things differently and I for one hit the ground running when my terrain has been shaken or embers threaten my internal world. I train myself daily to be mindful and practice meditation, qigong, Tai Chi etc. I try to stay present so when difficult times happen in my life that require me to find calm and joy in chaos, I can access it. It’s not enough to sit, it is the everyday moments that teach us to put it into action, what we practice and therein lies the work which isn’t as easy as it seems. Practice what we preach as the old antage goes.
Well guys, the fires have finally hit our home indirectly. There is smoke in the air with the threatening of lightning and heat so we are on alert but we are okay for now. I mentioned my 86 year old father and his girlfriend who is 90 were more at risk and they indeed had to evacuate their house the other night due to the fires since they are about 6 miles away. I don’t think they were threatened as much as they wanted the roads closed since it’s a windy 2 lane thoroughfare and the fire fighters need access to the areas behind them. If the winds do shift, embers could hit one of their at least 200 trees on the property and with a shake roof, it could quickly turn to no way out.
My Dad couldn’t reach me right away because I was in a session the other night when the fire department knocked on his door to evacuate them. When I called back he said he was was disappointed in me. I had talked to him earlier for about 45 minutes and everything seemed ok but I did say he could come here if something happened and temporarily moved in with us.
It cut to the core because I am always here for my family no matter what and for the life of me, I’m not sure what he was so disappointed about yet, but I have lived my whole life for his approval. I thought I healed that wound but here I am once again facing this feeling of sadness, anger and pain.
We picked him up and he is staying here until things are safe and clear to return. I get to practice being present with my feelings, his and forgive but right now it’s cordial and chilly which is good since it’s so blazing hot outside. He can’t see with macular degeneration and glaucoma and is bone on bone so is in pain a lot of the time. He had a stroke 2 years ago after elective heart valve replacement and I was there for him every step of the way. It’s really sad to see your robust father that was so strong and athletic decline. He needs help to accommodate his aging body which he refuses to acknowledge which is frustrating because he will be going blind and won’t make choices while he still can and I will be forced to make them for him. He lives up the hill 20 minutes from us and we need to work full time to make ends meet which makes response time a problem.
I continue to look for the lesson and silver lining while we acknowledge this internal struggle for all of us living under one roof with our 2 adult children as well who moved in after the pandemic. We have had to learn how to navigate and move into an adult relationship together changing our old structure of our adult child relationship which has been a gift but not without a lot of discussion and falling back into old patterns.
I am struck by other countries where living together is the norm and they are interdependent on each other. Some of the millenials actually want to move but don’t want to upset their parents. When we were in Bali, we were so struck by everyone living together and asked the families how they manage it. They looked at us so perplexed and couldn’t understand why we didn’t live with our family members. I remember growing up and I couldn’t wait to go away to college at 18 and move out and I never looked back. Things were pretty rocky at home and I needed to move for my own salvation and in America that was the norm.
Now, here we are and 2 of our 4 kids are living with us and we are all navigating this uncharted territory which hasn’t been easy, but finding the benefits while managing the complexities of the financial burden and help with daily chores. America is now catching up and finding that 55% of the 22-35 years olds are living in fact do live at home and I’m sure that number will rise with the pandemic in place until who knows when.
But let’s be clear, this is a challenging time and as I age I find it difficult to live with anyone anymore, if I am to be completely honest. And I would venture to say, they find it difficult to live with me as well.
Having my Dad here is a deeper opportunity for letting go of trying to please someone so near and dear to my heart even though I know that I am not there at the moment. Our days are numbered and short. Life is fragile. I won’t get these moments and days back. I have a choice. What do I want? Will I choose to sit with this and stew and let it consume me and miss the opportunity of growth or will I let it go and clear the air? No doubt he was scared since I’m his lifeline.
I am reminded of the words of Don Miguel Rodriguez in his book The 4 Agreementswhich I listed below.
The Four Agreements:
Be Impeccable with your word.
Don’t take anything personally.
Don’t make assumptions
Always do your best
I am going to go to my mat now and pray to open my heart and release my ego of righteousness and illusion.
I will go in and invite him for a chat. I’m not sure where it will take us exactly but I will go forward, not backward in time or division.
It’s time to practice what I preach and It is so much easier when I am facilitating a Life Coaching session, rather than living one.
And this my friends is how you coach yourself.
Have a blessed day and remember What someone thinks of you is NOT your Business, so don’t take it personally. But don’t hold on to it, you only hurt yourself.
Please like (if you do of course), comment and or share. Many thanks.
I wonder if the one cup blender is so popular because we are all looking for the Magic Bullet in our lives.
I have news for you and you’re not going to want to hear it….. There isn’t one but the magic is there hidden behind layers and layers of denial and unconsciousness and it takes peeling back the onion skinto get to the core of that truth which takes time and patience.
We take a pill for everything these days and hope it will take away all of our troubles and cares and we will be worry free. I know a lot of people who take a pill for less than a hang nail. We are a quick fix society and we want to be happy, rich and skinny all of the time. Who doesn’t! With social media in our face 24/7 and seeing people sharing their happiest of moments or what “looks” happy in a picture, it’s easy to compare and judge our own life discounting ourselves and think these people have the perfect lives. Reality gets left out of those picturesand we don’t see the morning face of wrinkles before make up or a shave, taking out the garbage or sitting on the pot; thank god. But none the less, we extract out of it “Everyone is having an amazing life but me”. It’s the farthest thing from the truth in actuality.
You will hear people who have found something that has worked for them as if by magic and that is awesome. Staying open to trying new things which bring hope and change is something which we never want to lose sight of but it is generally learning to hold yourself through the ups and downs and surrounding yourself with a network of support that penetrate the magic inside you.
As we grow and move forward into the light and find solutions to problems, we continue to unfold and bring more joy to our internal world.
For some, medication is vital and needs to be adhered to, together with a self-care routine of exercise, affirmations, a healthy diet, sunshine, family and friends to fully thrive.When someone suffers with a phobia, fear, or something that is debilitating creating anxiety, darkness, panic and immobility; it is scary and a vicious cycle and takes patience, support and bringing in your army of support to combat this. YES: It can feel like you are going into battle and the battle ultimately is yourself and if you have your armor and tool bag ready, YOU CAN BEAT THIS! I often say; it’s only your mind and you are not your mind but that is easier said than done because the mind is so cunning, seductive and erodes and takes us down if we don’t catch it right away. The job of the mind is to judge, analyze and keep us in judgement. Under your mind is your higher self that loves, supports and is non judgmental AND that is what we need to practice assessing until we master it. Because that is the place that sets us free where peace and tranquility lie.
It usually goes like this: The imagined fear is a thought in your head which provokes a feeling of panic, fear, shakiness, doom and gloom etc. Then the mind comes in that says “oh no here we go again” which sets an alarm off in your head creating worry. When worry sets in we move out of the present moment (which is what starts this vicious cycle) and worry sets in about the upcoming event of the future which takes us out of the present moment where everything was fine. Fear takes on a life of its own. We start worrying that this is going to take us over which sets up a chain reaction of fight or flight in our bodies sending out messages and chemicals which are released that shoot adrenaline racing through our bloodstream exasperating the problem increasing cortisol levels. Depression sets in because we then worry we will never get out of this cycle and we feel powerless, hopeless and full of despair.
We have to break the cycle which is easier said than done. Sometimes medication is needed to help the synapses in the brain recover so we can take advantage of doing the other things that feed us emotionally and get us back engaged in life and bring us the peace that is rightfully ours.Meditation, exercise, breathing, affirmations, healthy food and drink are imperative to do everyday to keep you in the present moment and see what is driving you. There is always trigger and something that the fear is protecting you from on a deeper level.
When this happens to you try this step by step action:
1) Identify the feeling
2) Ask what this feeling is trying to protect you from.. there is always something
3) Ask yourself what is the worst thing than can happen
When your mind starts the vicious cycle of negativity, fret and worry:
1) STOP in your tracks
2) Breath: Slow your breath and count 8 counts in, hold your breath 5 counts and then out 8 breathes, do this 8 times or continue until you slow down enough and relax your mind and body.
3) Look at what triggered the worry and what it’s trying to protect you from.
4) Have a list of affirmations that you can say to counter act each one and say them to yourself silently or out loud until you feel a shift.
5) Circle white light of protection all around you and take a touch stone with ‘ you in your pocket.
6) Tell yourself “me and the fear are walking together and I will be ok”
. 7) Have a list of things you can do when this happens that will soothe you and bring you back to calm and peace and serenity
8) Stay in the present breath until you calm down.
Example of a list
1) Meditate: Sit, light a candle, incense,
2) Breathe: Pick a flower and breath in the scent. deep breathing, breathing techniques with counting find others. Go to yoga and learn. Groth breath work is great.
3) Remind yourself this is protecting you in a weird way and you will be ok.
4) Go for a walk
5) Call a friend
6) Write in your journal
7) Go to a movie
8) Stay present in this moment only
9) Say your affirmations
10) plant a plant
11) do whatever you are doing bringing your attention to your breath
12) Go to a class
Continue adding to this list.
Remember:“You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true. You may have to work at it however”. – Richard Bach- Remind yourself of that and never lose hope no matter how hopeless or long the situation has been going on. While it might feel like forever and it will never change all of life is change and all things come to pass with time.
There is a magic bullet and the magic is you uncovering your beautiful free self while you continue on your journey.Please share your insights of how you have changed so we can help each other grow to our fullest potential of light and love which is our birth rite.
Mothers Day can conjure up the sweetest memories as the poem my Father recites every Mother’s Day.
To one who bears the sweetest name
and adds luster to the same.
Who shares my joys when ever sad,
the greatest friend I ever had.
Long life to her, for theirs no other,
that could take the place of my dear Mother
Other times it feels like another demand requiring something from us in this commercialized world we live in. Every month except August has a holiday and then throw that into the mix of birthdays and the new found holidays of Siblings day, Grandparents Day, Staff appreciation Day, music day, etc (google the obscure holidays~ it’s pretty comical), it can feel overwhelming. If you are someone that LOVES holidays and worship, knock yourself out but if you are someone that requires more solitude and time, all of these occasions can feel like an assault on your personal space.
The relationship you have with your Mom makes a difference in how you want to honor her or not as well. Let yourself know the truth about how you do feel about your mom so you can honor her in a way that is honest and real.
Sometimes Mom’s have such a hold on us that we feel we might be swallowed alive by them with their powerful demands.
If she was demanding and obtrusive we might resent and loathe the day and feel guilty or resentful or both.
Find a way that works for you to honor the relationship you do have, making it work for you too. No amount of gift giving or doing can make up for the guilt you might have and it is felt in the long run by her and goes underground in you creating a vortex for eruption later.
One thing I have heard over and over again is that when a mother or father dies they still live on in your heart and mind no matter what your relationship is, they are always a part of you. You came from their loins and gave you life which is the most miraculous gift one could receive.
A friend gave me this poem which I read at Mother’s Day. http://www.gratefulness.org/poetry/lanyardcollins.htm
None of us had a blue print on parenting no matter how many books we read. It was paint by the number and sometimes we stayed in the line and sometimes we went outside the box. Remembering that takes the onus on having or being the perfect mother.
Perhaps we can’t really appreciate our Mother’s until we have children of our own. I remember my mom’s words well when she said “Wait until you have children of your own”! Ah… sweet revenge.
Yesterday when my son was helping dry the dishes he had the dish towel swirling and whipping it at me, I remembered my Mom running around the table with a coat hanger to swat me when I was 13 no doubt giving her lip. We finally broke into laughter because she couldn’t catch me which defused the whole thing.
Thanks to my Mothers, my sister Jan, my 4 children (Yes, I love you all the same just different~ even if you don’t believe me! You all just switch “hot spots” from time to time:-). I am so blessed and you are the best part of my life.
Perhaps Erma Bombeck said it best in her writing by keeping it real with laughter. Thank you Erma from all of us that honored you.
She died in 1996.
If it’s not one thing it’s your Mother and in one month it will be your Father:
June 21rst to be exact. 😊
Love and Laughter,
Erma Bombeck Quotes On Motherhood:
* I loved you enough to ask about where you were going, with whom and what time you would get home
* I loved you enough to insist that you buy a bike, that we could afford to give you, with your own money
* I loved you enough to make you return a Milky-Way— with a bite out of it—to the drug store and to confess “I stole this
* I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that would have taken me 15 minutes
* I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, disgust and tears in my eyes
* I loved you enough to admit I was wrong and ask for your forgiveness
* I loved you enough to let you stumble, fall and hurt
* But most of all, I loved you enough to say NO when you hated me for it. That was the hardest part of all
* All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with white carpet is one of them
* Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. “Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed?” Don’t you want to save some of the pizza for your brother?” Wasn’t there any change?
* Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen? Three. It takes one to say, “What light?” and two more to say, “I didn’t turn it on.
* I remember buying a set of black plastic dishes once, after I saw an ad on television where they actually put a blowtorch to them and they emerged unscathed. Exactly one week after I bought them, one of the kids brought a dinner plate to me with a large crack in it. When I asked what happened to it, he said it hit a tree. I don’t want to talk about it
* Kids have little computer bodies with disks that store information. They remember who had to do the dishes the last time you had spaghetti, who lost the knob off the Tv set six years ago, who got punished for teasing the dog when he wasn’t teasing the dog and who had to wear girls boots the last time it snowed
* Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown