While it’s not easy to say what’s true for you, there was a great price paid for freedom of speech. We are lucky to have voices to use. We are able to use our voices freely and collectively, to really make a difference in our world. I shutter to think of those who must desperately fight for what was true for them, or other countries where Truth is to be avoided at all costs for fear of losing your life or, those you love. Therefore, I am so grateful for those who have paved this path for us to uphold the 1st amendment.
From a young age most of us were taught to be respectful and be polite at the expense of how we feel. (I know I was!) No wonder it comes as a surprise when we find that what we really feel compared to what we’ve been told to feel (reality vs. expectations) is so far off. It can rock our inner world and throw us off balance, leaving us feeling lost and confused. Often, we haven’t a clue what we actually feel and it takes a long time to break the sheath and peel back the layers to know our truth. We might be so used to squelching all of these feelings and thoughts that when they finally come to the surface, it’s as though a volcano has erupted and we feel completely out of control which can be scary. Only by practice and taking the time to get used to our authentic self, liberation and freedom becomes a celebrated reality.
However, when we stuff our feelings, we close that door to freedom. Inwardly, these emotions set off normal internal responses; some bodily systems, like our immune system, get shut down. As our cortisol levels peak, our bodies are setting off into stress mode. We go into an internal battle, where flight or flight hormones pump through our blood stream.
Our Vishuda Chakra (energetic system) that is located at our throat can tighten, which can result in sore throats, tightness, pain, allergies etc. These emotions: anger, resentment, frustration, suffocation will build up inside when we don’t honor our truth and speak it.
Many people feel they don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings by saying how they really feel, and will endure the suffering internally, often hurting themselves instead by keeping the peace and being quiet. There is no peace in silencing our selves, but we tell ourselves there is at the expense of our truth. Keeping quiet hurts two people: you and the other person. Your silence does not allow the person to see how their actions and words can affect another person, and you rob them of an opportunity to change and grow, if they so choose. Although, there isn’t necessarily a right or wrong, it’s important to have your voice and communicate what is true for you for optimum health.
|I can’t tell you the amount of people that don’t speak up in a bodywork session when the therapist is over stepping a boundary and talking through their session because they don’t want to hurt their feelings. I always ask, “wait, who is paying for this session?” The therapist is then using the client as a means to their fill their own needs rather than the clients. This is NOT OK!
Start looking at where you compromise your truth because you don’t want to rock the boat or make waves. Maybe the other person has your number and has bullied you enough to shut you up, or you’ve stooped to their level of screaming and hollering obscenities at each other, to avoid making a necessary change. We get so entangled in either silence or fighting which becomes a vicious cycle where no one wins, and we think this is normal communication? Both set up roadblocks that keep us stuck at an impasse. If you don’t want to change, you get to have the same result you always have had and you know what that is. Great, it’s your choice if that’s what you want.
On the other hand, if you want a different experience you have to change something to create that. This is your life. What do you want? How do you want to live? I commend you for speaking your truth and having your voice. When we speak our truth we allow others around us to grow as well. They might not like what you have to say which is also fine and they get an opportunity to share their truth with you.
As you do it more you will get better with it and it won’t be so difficult. In the beginning it may be a little harsh because it’s so foreign. Be gentle with yourself. It’s ok if you don’t say it exactly right and someone takes it wrong. As they say, “the truth will set you free.” Always remember: life is not stagnant and we have many opportunities for growth and change. If you don’t learn it the first time, you will get another chance because they keep coming up until we do.
Honestly, as I’m writing this I thought of a little white lie I was about to tell, which gave me another opportunity to walk my talk and be honest.
If we never tell a lie, we never have to worry about what to cover up or say which only makes things worse in the end.
In the words of ― Mahatma Gandhi “Silence becomes cowardice when occasion demands speaking out the whole truth and acting accordingly.”
Blessings while you rock the boat,